Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
He barreled on before I could say anything. His hard-on had waned a bit, which I was glad for because it meant he wasn’t right on the edge like he’d been when I’d first walked into the bathroom.
“Anyway, I started looking on my computer for stories about guys who went through the stuff I did. I found a few… they were mostly older men who’d been told they had a disease but could be cured. It was back in like the fifties and sixties but there were some more recent ones too. Pretty much all of them suffered long-term effects but some of them talked about still being able to have sex.” He stopped long enough to pull in a breath before saying, “I know I’m fucked up in the head, Lincoln. And I know I need to get help for that, whether we’re together or not.”
Theo dropped his head. Since he was significantly calmer now, I stepped up to him and tilted his chin up so he was forced to look me in the eyes. “Tell me what you need, sweetheart.”
“I, um, want to be with you, but…”
Since I wouldn’t let him look down, he closed his eyes instead. Color stained his cheeks as he said, “I don’t want you to touch me… there. I’m not ready for that. But I still want to be with you to see if…”
Theo shook his head and covered his face with his hands. “This is so stupid.”
I eased his hands away from his face. “Do you trust me, Theo?”
The seriousness of my question had all his embarrassment disappearing in an instant.
“Yes,” he said with a nod. “I love you, Lincoln. So much it hurts sometimes.”
I knew exactly what he meant. I brushed my mouth over his but was so overcome with emotion that all I could manage to croak out was, “Love you” before I kissed him deeply. I ended up backing him against the wall between the shower and the bathtub. Theo moaned and began kissing me back. I made sure to keep our lower bodies separated but I intensified the kisses until I could feel him trying to push his hips closer to mine.
“Lincoln,” he cried when I broke the kiss.
“I’ve got you, baby,” I said as I grabbed his hand and led him to my room. Once we reached the bed, I kissed Theo again, but I took the intensity level down a few notches because I could already sense him tensing up. When he was once again pliant in my hold, I broke the kiss and said, “You’re going to be in control of all of this, okay, sweetheart? You’re going to take what you need from me however you want.”
“No, Lincoln, I don’t want to use—”
I kissed him to keep him from finishing the thought. “Trust me, Theo. Anything you do to me I’m going to enjoy. And the second you want to stop or even slow down and talk through something, that’s exactly what will happen, okay?”
Theo nodded. He was clearly nervous.
“Do you want my shirt on or off?” I asked.
I nearly came on the spot when he licked his lips and scanned my upper body. “Off,” he said huskily.
I probably broke all kinds of laws of nature when it came to how quickly I dragged my shirt over my head and tossed it aside. Theo looked like a kid in a candy store as he studied my chest. I had a handful of tattoos on my body, but they weren’t overly large. Not surprisingly, his eyes found the small one of a rabbit just above my left pectoral muscle. He traced his fingers over the pattern and then pressed a kiss to it. His mouth skimmed my collarbone before he searched out my mouth again.
“Do you know how you want me on the bed?” I practically growled as I tore my lips from Theo’s and turned around long enough to throw the covers aside. I flicked the light on the nightstand on too, so he’d be able to see me clearly and remember where he was.
By the time I turned my attention back to Theo, his nerves had started to return in force. I cursed myself for moving too fast. I rubbed my finger over his cheek. “Do you know how we normally lie down together before going to sleep?” I asked.
Theo’s reluctant nod told me I was on the right track. “We’re going to do the opposite, okay? You’re going to be behind me with your front pressed to my back.”
“Yeah, okay,” he said, clearly relieved. I knew he was probably confused, though.
I lay down, leaving on my boxers as well as the snug briefs I’d begun wearing at night in the hopes of keeping my erection somewhat under control while I held Theo’s supple body against mine. I looked over my shoulder at him but didn’t say anything. He was still hard but not like he’d first been when I’d found him in the bathroom. He could probably manage to fall asleep in his present state, whether it was with me or in his own bed, but I wasn’t going to make that choice for him.