Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
As much as I hated to admit it, Ford was right. There had been a tiny part of me that, for a few minutes at least, had held Ford at least partially accountable for what had happened to Theo. But that feeling had gone away the more I’d remembered what I’d learned about Ford’s older brother, Jimmy, and how he’d treated Ford both as a kid and even in the months before Ford met Cam. I could and would give Ford the information he needed so he could start dealing with the emotions the truth stirred up but, in the end, the entire thing was something Theo and Ford would need to work out between themselves when both of them were strong enough.
“I’ll answer as much as I can without breaking his trust,” I said. “And yes, I love him and I’m angry about what was done to him, but you were a scared kid, Ford, and I hold no animosity toward you. The fact that you sought him out after all these years to beg for his forgiveness proves how much you care about him.”
Ford let out a watery laugh as he dashed at his eyes with his free hand. “We met at Bible camp. Did he tell you that? It was pure luck that he lived only a few towns away. Anyway, he constantly had his hand up when the teacher would finish reading a passage or explaining a scripture’s meaning or whatever. He wasn’t being intentionally contradictory when he’d point out things that weren’t logical. It was just the way his mind worked. He couldn’t believe something just because a nun or priest or his parents or some book told him he should. It was why he was so good at math and science in school. He was good at everything, but he wanted to teach math and science when he grew up.”
I found myself smiling at his description of Theo because it was spot-on. Theo hadn’t told me he’d wanted to be a teacher, though. He’d simply said he was still trying to figure things out.
Ford’s smile fell away, and he went silent for a handful of seconds. “That day in the shed when Jimmy caught us, Theo told you what I did to him, right?”
I nodded.
He sucked in a breath. “After that, I ran. I was so afraid of Jimmy that I didn’t even consider that he might go after Theo in some way. I mean, it seemed like I was the only one he ever…” Ford shook his head as if the rest of what he was going to say was unimportant. “Theo told me Jimmy just threatened him after I left; that he scared him but didn’t hurt him.” He paused and nodded as he said, “He lied about that, didn’t he? Jimmy did hurt him.”
“Yes, he did. He hit Theo and he broke his arm.”
Ford let out a little gasp and then dropped his head to Theo’s hand. I could hear him whispering “I’m sorry” over and over again. It was a long time before he spoke again, and this time he didn’t look up at me. “He told me he was only in that camp for a few months. How long was he really there?”
I hesitated because I knew how much my answer was going to hurt Ford. “Three years,” I finally managed to get out. “He refused to say he’d been cured and that he was straight, so they kept him there until he admitted it.”
He began to sob. I expected him to ask me what they’d done to Theo in that place, but he didn’t. I was glad for that because I wouldn’t have told him any specifics. Ford was a smart guy and had already put enough pieces together to know that Theo had been hiding so much more than little white lies. That he was still hiding things.
Movement beneath my hand caught my attention, and I looked up just in time to see Theo’s eyes open and then close again. He did it a few more times as his brain worked to rid itself of the sedative. He smiled when he saw me, but it didn’t last long because there was no missing the sound of Ford’s sobs.
I expected Theo to be angry that not only had I forcibly sedated him but also that at least one of his secrets was out in the open. But the expression that passed over his face as he watched Ford sob into the bed linens even as he clutched Theo’s hand was anything but angry.
“Ford,” he called, but between the sedative and his throat probably being sore from his screams during his panic attack, it barely even came out as a whisper. “Ford,” Theo repeated, this time a little louder. He also tugged his hand free of Ford’s so he could run his fingers against Ford’s hair.