Total pages in book: 156
Estimated words: 151044 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 151044 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
I scoffed. “No shit, but you were in an accident. I was there when they were going to put you in assisted living. I moved home to make sure that didn’t happen. I saw to your bills, watered your house plants, and made sure you didn’t lose your home.”
“And now that’s over. Can we please move on?”
My jaw dropped. I was stunned by how easily she could minimize what had been one of the most traumatic events of my life. I thought she was going to die. I had never been so terrified.
“Maybe you’re over it, but for someone who consciously watched it happen I need a little more time.” It hadn’t even been a year and she still struggled with cognitive issues from the crash. “It feels like you’re punishing me for caring and dismissing everything I did to help you.”
“See, you’re too dramatic—”
“I left my job to take care of you, Elle!”
“Your job working for Hale’s dad.”
I scoffed. “Fuck. Off.” I could not believe she would diminish what I sacrificed by acting like it wasn’t a real job.
That time had been incredibly difficult for me. Yes, it happened to her, but it deeply affected me, and she made me feel selfish for being so impacted by the thought of losing her. I’d never felt so helpless or worried. Sometimes I still had nightmares that she was back in a coma.
I feared, not only losing my closest friend, but that Hale and I might not survive the distance or what the crippling anxiety was doing to me. We were new and fragile, but Elle needed someone to watch over her and see that she got the best care. So I left Florida and flew back to Oregon to sit by her side, day after day, night after night—for her. I risked losing everything to watch over her when she had no one, and that took a toll.
Her own brother hadn’t bothered to visit her. Every day I felt like I was in over my head and drowning, but I couldn’t give up on her.
“You have no idea what that accident put me through. It didn’t just happen to you, Elle.”
She rolled her eyes. “And here we go, somehow making an accident that happened to me all about you.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Now, I was pissed. “That accident was a tragedy that happened to all of us. Tyler couldn’t even look at you most days, but he showed up anyway and did his best to be there for you. I lost sleep crying at your bedside for weeks, terrified you might never come out of that coma. We were all in pain.”
“Well, I was the one lying in a hospital room with my head split open and half my memories gone!”
“What do you need me to say here? You win? Fuck, Elle, I was physically sick over the fear that I might lose you. It was agony. And now you’re throwing it in my face, like I somehow did something wrong by caring for you? Like I’m some sort of narcissist for letting your pain affect me. That’s not narcissism, it’s love! I’m sorry if I can’t just shut it off when you suddenly decide you don’t need a best friend anymore.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Well, you’re certainly acting like it. You’re keeping secrets and avoiding me.”
“You were in New York!”
“So what? We have phones! You were super sketchy every time I called. And now, you’re acting like I’m smothering you by simply asking about your life.”
“Wanting to make some decisions on my own has nothing to do with you, Ray. I don’t need you to weigh in on every choice.”
“Fine, but did you ever think that I might still need you even if you don’t need me?” I gathered my belongings, my hands trembling violently as I rushed to get out of there. “Our friendship is one of the most important relationships of my life, and I feel like you’re cutting it into pieces without even giving me a say.”
“Maybe I’m not your best friend anymore.”
I staggered at the door, her words stabbing into me with no warning and nearly dropping me to my knees. Denial choked me. But I couldn’t argue her accusation because part of me knew she was right.
Tears fell down my cheeks. I couldn’t face her.
Elle’s voice lowered. “You have Hale now. You don’t need me. Not like you used to.”
“I still need you.”
“Things were always going to change, Rayne. I didn’t do this. It just happened.”
My head lowered. I wasn’t ready for this conversation. I didn’t want it.
“Rayne, this year… A lot’s changed. We’re different now. Both of us. Why can’t you accept that? It’s unrealistic to expect me to go back to being a girl I only partially remember. Just as it would be unrealistic of me to expect you to have the same time for me as you had before Hale.”