Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
I spit in my hand and stroked my cock, the precome providing extra lubricant. Each time Gage thrust, he rubbed my prostate, and my world spun out of control.
“Come for me, Jojo. Let go.”
Our eyes locked, his hips flexing and pumping, filling me and pulling out. I worked my dick faster, didn’t look away from him, or him from me. My orgasm sneaked up on me, pleasure and love colliding as I shot, spilling my load all over my chest and hand. My vision went blurry as my universe tilted on its axis.
Gage cried out above me, and his cock spasmed, jerked as he pulsed his first shot into me, only to spill another, his release within me, where it belonged.
He fell on top of me, and I held him there, tried to keep him inside me as long as I could. His cock softened, but then reading me, what I needed, Gage pushed two fingers in my ass, keeping us connected that way.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“You have nothing to thank me for. I…” he started, but he didn’t finish.
“I’m so tired, Gage.”
“Sleep,” he whispered. “I’ll watch over you.”
I drifted off, let go even though a voice inside me wanted to ask, Do you promise you won’t leave me again? How will I survive if you leave me again?
Sleep. I just needed to sleep…
I winced, a sharp pain stabbing into my side. I was back there, to that night, being jerked out of Gage’s arms. My eyes jerked open, but it was him, mumbling and kicking.
“No. I’m sorry. Jojo, please. Did I hurt you?” Gage jerked in the bed, his head whipping back and forth in sleep. The room was dark except for the moonlight shining on us through the window, so I had to have been out for a while. “Jojo!” he called out.
“Gage, it’s okay. Wake up. You’re dreaming.”
His eyes flung open, panicked, wet with tears. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He pulled me to him.
“Hey, it’s okay. It was just a dream.” But it wouldn’t stop, would it? We were in this cycle. I was trying to find my way out of it, but I needed Gage to do the same.
“I’m sorry,” he said again into my chest. “Did I hurt you in my sleep?”
“No.”
Silence.
“Gage?”
“I know. I’ll call tomorrow and make an appointment. For now, can you just hold me?”
“Always.”
We stayed wrapped in each other all night.
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
Gage
Late September in LA still felt like summer, the heat on my skin a reassuring reminder that I was alive.
Months had gone by, and Joey and I were still staying at Darrel’s. He kept his apartment, though he never spent the night in it. Sometimes he went there for space or to get more of his things, but he always came back. Darrel said he could officially move in, but it wasn’t something Joey or I had made the decision to do. I couldn’t say why exactly. Maybe we were afraid to get too comfortable, to let our guard down, because we were used to losing things we loved, losing each other and the dreams we shared. If we didn’t plan for the future, if we didn’t allow ourselves to dream or say the words I love you, then we couldn’t lose what we didn’t have.
Joey was still seeing Rose once a week. He liked her a lot. Sometimes he came home with red eyes, lost the way he’d been after the first appointment; other times he didn’t. He would remind me of a funny story, something we did as kids that he’d told her about, and we’d laugh and joke and pretend to be those boys again.
He’d started taking medication, which was something he and Rose had talked about because he said he was always sad. He hadn’t told me about it until after they discussed it, and yeah, I should have drawn that correlation myself, but I thought it was just our past shit. I didn’t consider clinical depression.
Rose had referred him to a psychiatrist for an evaluation. They’d tried one kind of medication, and it put him into a deep depression. For days he wouldn’t get out of bed, so they stopped that one and tried another. It seemed to be working well for him so far.
I didn’t know why, but I hadn’t called the guy Darrel recommended. I found someone else instead, and it hadn’t been a good match. Talking to him didn’t feel right. I’d still gone a couple of times because part of me figured that talking to anyone other than Joey, Mouse, Romeo, or Darrel would probably never feel right to me, but eventually, I had to stop going. I needed to try someone else.
I wanted to be better for Joey, to do whatever I had to do to make that happen, so I called Darrel’s friend. His name was Micah, and I really liked him. It never felt like he was judging me, since he’d been in some of the places I’d been. If he weren’t my therapist, I could see myself being friends with him.