Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
“That’s good,” Darrel replied. “I’m glad to see you getting out.”
He squeezed my shoulder and walked inside, and I suddenly felt like I’d let him down.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Joey
“Are you nervous?” Kevin asked. We were standing by the kitchen counter, and he was holding Olivia. Gage was supposed to be here any minute.
“Nah, not really.” Total lie, which made me shift uncomfortably. I hated being nervous to see Gage. I hated being nervous about anything because I was supposed to be over things like that.
Angie cocked a brow.
“Okay, fine. Maybe a little anxious.”
“I feel you, brother.” Kevin patted my shoulder in support; there was no getting anything by Angie.
“I don’t know how you deal with her all the time.” I was trying hard to push my discomfort aside, to be normal and joke around and pretend I wasn’t this fucked-up Joey I’d become. It was exhausting.
The doorbell rang, and I immediately shoved my hands into my pockets.
“I’ll get it,” Angie said, and walked away.
“It’ll be fine, Joey.” Kevin rocked Olivia.
“It’s not just this…not just him. It’s me.”
“I know.” Kindness reflected back at me in his eyes. “It’ll still be fine, and maybe eventually, it will be better than fine. Maybe this is what you need to deal with it, because you haven’t. None of it.”
I wouldn’t know the first thing about dealing with it. At this point, all I cared about was surviving.
“Look who’s here!” Angie and Gage walked into the kitchen.
“I don’t know. Who?” Kev teased, which earned him an eye roll from Angie and a small chuckle from Gage and me.
Gage.
I still couldn’t believe he was here, or how I felt about it.
“Hey, man. What’s up?” Gage said to Kevin, and then his gaze met mine. We smiled at each other, but neither of us spoke.
“Should we go outside? Let’s go outside.” Angie was obviously nervous too.
“Yes, I think we should go outside,” Kevin added. “Nope, we’re not being awkward at all. Jesus Christ, this is us, you guys. The three of you are the most important people in my life—outside of my little OG. We’re not weird around each other. We talk shit to each other, and we accept each other, and we’re best friends. I love you guys.” His gaze traveled back and forth between the three of us.
Gage spoke first. “Leave it to Romeo to be the mushy one.”
“It’s such a blast from the past to hear that name again,” Angie said.
“You guys don’t use it anymore? I don’t have to…”
“No, no. It’s fine. I’m motherfucking Romeo.”
Laughter erupted from the four of us, and fuck, it felt good. When was the last time I felt good? I couldn’t remember.
“If our daughter’s first word is motherfucker, I’m gonna kick your ass,” Angie said.
“She’s a baby. It’s fine.”
“And OG?” I asked. That was a new one for me.
“Yeah, she’s gotta have a nickname too. It’s kind of our thing, even though Gage wouldn’t let any of us call you Jojo but him. So stingy,” Kevin joked.
No, no he hadn’t. If anyone had ever called me Jojo, he made sure they knew I was his Jojo and no one else’s.
Our eyes met, held…and he turned away. “Olivia Gage. I’m honored, but do you think she’ll be mad that she has a boy’s middle name?”
“Names don’t have genders, Hero. Duh.” Angie wrapped her arm around him, he kissed the top of her head, and that easily, for a brief flash of time, I almost forgot things weren’t the same.
We finally made our way outside. They had a nice setup, with an Alumawood patio cover, fire pit, bricked-in barbecue grill, a table and chairs. They also had a Pack ’n Play for Olivia, and this little bouncy thing she sat in and could jump up and down.
“Anyone want a beer?” Kev handed Olivia to Angie and went to the fridge by the grill. The rest of us sat at the rectangular table.
“Me,” I replied.
“Yeah, me too,” Gage answered. “Remember our plans for when we all turned twenty-one and could legally go out and drink together?”
Angie laughed. “God, we were so excited about that, because it was gonna be so much better than when we partied up a mountain and drank behind our parents’ backs.”
Except Gage. His dad hadn’t cared if he drank.
“Did you guys do that?” Gage asked. His leg was crossed, ankle over his thigh, and he was picking at his shoe.
“No.” Angie shook her head. “Kev and I went out right after my birthday.”
“I was stubborn,” I cut in. It hadn’t felt right, doing what we’d planned to do with Gage. It was stupid, because we’d all moved here without him. Most likely, I’d used it as an excuse, fighting any way of having a good time or being happy.
Gage looked at me, this mix of sadness and disappointment in his eyes. “You should have gone, Joey.”