Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 87961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
“You will always be in danger, with me or not. The only way you will leave me is in a fucking body bag!” He slams his palm flat against the wall beside my head. His face is inches from mine, his breath touching my lips. “Do you hear me? I won’t let you leave me!”
“So I’m a hostage now?”
His head shakes violently from side to side. “You are not. Fucking. Leaving.”
“I can’t do this anymore. Please, Jude,” I beg.
“What can’t you do anymore? Huh, what is so fucking horrible about all this?”
“Everything! This, us, you...” I take a deep breath and force out the words that I know will cut him. Playing on his guilt, I scream, “I hate you. You’re a monster, and as much as I try to pretend otherwise, you will always be a monster. I can never forgive you for what you’ve done to me.”
He growls, narrowing his eyes at me. “What I’ve done to you? What the fuck have I done to you?” His eyes lock with mine, demanding, commanding.
“I would rather take my chances out there with Joe than stay and be your own personal whore,” I spit.
“You are not a fucking whore!” he shouts. His hand slams around my throat and his fingers clench tight. He’s so close, his lips are almost touching mine. “You’d rather be dead than be with me?” His grip tightens slightly, and my fingers claw at his forearm.
The words are simple enough, but I can hear the vulnerability in them. I know Jude, and he’s not as emotionless as he likes to pretend. On some level I believe he needs or wants me, but this is not right. I feel like I’m losing my mind, whilst my heart feels like it’s shattering in my chest. I close my eyes as several tears slip free, sliding down my cheeks. I can’t answer him. I can’t say yes. I just can’t, but if I say no, then he’ll never let me go. I need him to let me go.
His fingers remain clamped around my neck, his hold tight, but not enough to suffocate me. I hear him inhale sharply before his forehead touches mine, and his warm breath fans across my face.
“Please, let me go, Jude.” I’m begging. “You don’t want this, and neither do I.”
“You’ve no idea what I want.” His voice is low, soft and controlled, and that terrifies me. I can cope with his temper, I can handle his brutality, but it’s in the moments when he’s gentle and kind that scare me the most, because it’s in those moments that I feel something for him, something tangible, something real, something I shouldn’t.
“You know what I want, Tor? Huh?” The look in his eyes nearly kills me. He looks hurt. He has hurt me so many times, and yet his pain breaks me in ways that I never thought possible. His hand moves away from my throat, gripping my jaw. He forces me to look at him. “I want fate to stop fucking me.” I feel his rough fingertip skim across my cheek, brushing away a stray tear. Without warning, his lips slam over mine. He kisses me hard, without mercy. He kisses me like he owns me and he damn well knows it. “You don’t want to leave me,” he says softly against my lips, the slight stubble on his face scratching against me. “You just feel like it’s wrong that you want to stay. Stop fucking with me.”
My pulse skitters wildly as his lips brush against mine. God, I can’t do this.
I open my eyes and meet his intense gaze. “Jude, I think I’m in love with you,” I breathe out before I realise I’ve said it. I never intended to tell him, but he’s not letting me go. I need him to acknowledge how warped this really is, how fucking toxic this path is that we’re on.
He releases my chin and takes a small step back, putting some much needed space between us. His eyes become cold and unreadable. This is the man that I saw the first day I walked into this office. This is the man that scares me, and this is the man I need to see so that I can walk out of here without a backward glance.
He paces in front of me, dragging his hands through his hair. The silence seems deafening in light of my confession. Finally he glances up at me. “You’re right. You should leave.”
I nod as pain ripples across my chest. This is what I wanted, for him to let me go. So why does it hurt so much?
I nod once more, keeping my eyes on the floor. “Okay then,” I whisper, my throat tightening. I don’t wait for his response. I walk out of the office. As soon as I turn the corner into the hall, I break into a jog and head to Caleb’s room. I don’t even knock, I just turn the knob and open the door before falling through it and slamming it behind me.