Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 87961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
I know I need to leave before I get any deeper, before the scars run so deep that I may never be redeemed, but walking away from him might very well be my destruction.
“He’ll find you.” Marney nods. “He wants you, Jude. That girl’s dead as far as he’s concerned, and you know it.”
Leaning my elbows on my desk, I steeple my fingers over the bridge of my nose.
Marney goes over to the bar and opens the cabinet. I hear him unscrew a bottle. There’s a steady pour, then it stops and starts again as he fills another glass. Holding out a drink to me, one side of his thin lips twitch up. “No better time to drink that than now.”
I glance back at the bar to find my vintage bottle of Maker’s Mark, the label worn down from the years my dad poured from it. I haven’t touched it since the day he died.
“You gotta do something, Jude. You ain’t got no choice.” A raspy cough rumbles up his chest and he sets the drink down.
“I know I don’t.” I inhale as I run my finger over the glass and wonder if this is how my father felt. Is this what it’s like to be at your wit’s end? Nothing seems logical anymore.
“What are you gonna do with the girl? Huh?” He shakes his head and holds his lips to the glass, but doesn’t drink. “Who would’ve thought a woman could fuck so much shit up?”
Marney has no idea exactly how fucked up this all is. It’s more than fucked, it’s a clusterfuck of fucks. I care about her, and I don’t care about anyone. Caring about someone the way I care for her causes you to make stupid-ass decisions, it makes your entire life irrational, illogical.
“Jude, you gotta do something.” Marney shrugs. “We gotta do something, or we’re all fucking dead, and we don’t need to be worrying about some girl in the process. Joe’s a barracuda.”
I take a swig of the aged bourbon, and the scent of it makes me think of my dad. It hasn’t finished burning its way down my throat, and I’m already filling my mouth again with the stout liquor. Taking a cigarette from the pack on my desk, I twist it between my fingers. “I don’t know what the hell to do,” I mumble.
Marney’s eyes narrow and he tilts his head to the side like he’s just had some realization. “She’s really gotten to you.”
“No.”
I light the cigarette and take a long drag, locking my eyes on Marney’s.
He nods and twist the knob to the lamp, the yellow light from the old bulb shadowing his face. “Women fuck everything up. Your father was just like you before he met your mother. It happens to the best of us. It’s hard to be a criminal when you’re in love, just remember that.”
What in the hell is this decrepit old man rambling about? I’m not in love with her. I am not in love with her...
“Jude, Joe and your dad weren’t always enemies. They fell out over a woman.”
I stare at him from across the room, watching him nervously shift his weight on his feet.
“Hell,” he sighs, and tips back his drink. “Your mother was Joe’s wife.”
I feel my jaw loosen and my brow crease. “What in the hell are you talking about?”
“Now, I know this is gonna be hard to swallow, and your mother was a wonderful person, so don’t let that change in your mind, but she and your dad weren’t ever married.”
He must see my jaw clenching because he holds his hands up and waves them like he’s surrendering before he clears his throat. “Jude, your mom left Joe when she found out she was pregnant with you. She and your father had an affair.”
I shake my head, unwilling to even contemplate what he’s saying because I’ve always viewed my mother as a saint, and this tinges that image.
Marney gulps back another swig and nods. “She just disappeared and Joe had no idea where she went. None. And do you know what a fucking feat that was?” A nostalgic glaze coats his face momentarily, and then his smile fades.
“And what, Dad just kept working with him even though he’d knocked up his wife?”
He shrugs. “Yeah, why wouldn’t he? Joe had no idea. No reason to make him suspicious.”
My stomach churns a little at the thought of it all.
“But he found out, all right. Took the bastard ten years, but he found out, and he made both her and your father pay.”
I take the drink and empty the entire glass into my mouth, staring up at the ceiling as I swallow it back.
“Jude, your father loved her, and she loved him. Now, I’m not saying what they did was right, but…” He walks over to me and puts his hand on my shoulder. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, your dad went soft when he met your mother. Joe was a bastard. He beat her, he fucked around on her, and all your dad wanted to do was save her, protect her.” He squeezes my shoulder gently. “You want to protect the things you love, the things you think can’t be replaced. Just be careful.”