Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 82341 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82341 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
“Nope,” Jamie said quickly. “Think again, big guy.”
“But that new little corkscrew-shaped thingie—”
Jamie slapped a hand over Teddy’s mouth and whispered something in his ear. Teddy’s eyes widened comically, and the front of his pants tented.
“That’s all you needed to say, sweetheart. Bedtime. Now.”
Jamie turned to the group with a triumphant grin. “Later!”
His brother Thad watched him go. “Maybe I should have been gay,” he mused. “I would have had a better chance at getting lucky tonight.”
“Same,” Jackie Wilde lamented. “Men suck.”
Agreeable, appreciative titters mixed with agreeable, annoyed ones.
“Not sure Sara would appreciate it if you were,” Thomas said to Thad. Thomas’s hands toyed with Rebecca’s hair as she lay curled up next to him on one of the sofas. “And the baby in her belly will be worth all the nausea eventually. Be glad she went to bed early. She needs the sleep.”
Thad closed his eyes and sighed. “She told me before she went to the room that if I show up later without a pint of ice cream, I’d have to sleep on the floor.”
Rebecca stirred on Thomas’s lap. “You take my grandbaby some ice cream, son. Even if you have to steal it from Simone’s personal stash.”
“Hey!” Simone cried. “If I can’t have my own Sweet Nuts, then I need my BJ.”
“That’s not what anyone calls Ben & Jerry’s, baby,” Joel said. “I’ve told you that a million times.”
Cal, the youngest of the Wilde brothers, stretched his arms up. He was sitting on the stone hearth in front of the fire and was half-drowsy from the warmth. “I could go for some BJ.”
“I volunteer as tribute.” A breathy voice escaped Ammon, but no one heard it.
Cal continued. “Anyone want to show me where the ice cream stash is? I’m happy to run grab it.”
Ammon got up the nerve to stand up. That kid was too cute to pass up. “I, um, know where the—”
Tilly flapped her hand. “Oh for the love of god, Ammon, just take the man to the storage closet like Ben did with Reese that one time.”
“You knew about that?” Ben gasped.
Reese’s chest puffed up. “Babe, everyone knew about it. We weren’t exactly quiet.”
“Omigod,” Ben said, hiding his face in Reese’s shirt.
There was a commotion by the hallway to the sleeping rooms and out walked a semifamiliar woman with a glamorous red mane of artful beach waves all down her back. “What the hell?” Grandpa asked in surprise.
“I recognize that wig,” Doc said with a grin. “That’s… that’s Betsy’s wig from a million years ago.”
Grandpa pulled Doc close and kissed him on the cheek. “No, sweetheart. That was the one she bought for me.”
Granny bounced her eyes lasciviously. “Irene, tonight’s threesome night at the O.K. Corral.”
Chief Paige appeared behind the stunning redhead in platform heels and offered her his arm.
“Well shit,” Granny said. “It’s just Stevie in drag.”
Chief Paige looked at the group. “How much you figure an Uber is to that plastic banana store?”
Blue snorted. “In the city? Uh, about a million dollars. Which we’re happy to pay if you let your lovely lady there perform for us.”
Doc squinted his eyes at Stevie. “Is it wrong to think he’s sexy on my wedding day to another man?”
Grandpa squeezed his hand. “Babe, Stevie in drag is like a bisexual’s wet dream. You can’t help it. But he is young enough to be our—”
“Don’t say it, or I’ll need to turn myself in to law enforcement,” Doc admitted.
“Law enforcement’s drunk. Like suuuuper drunk,” Seth slurred. “But my man’s sexy as fuck, and he’s young enough to be your—”
Otto barked out a laugh. “Stop. I think it’s high time someone show these folks what a fireman’s carry really looks like.” He tossed Seth over his shoulders like a sack of seriously sexy spuds.
Quinn turned to Beck with a pointed look. “This. All this right here is why I felt pressure to marry a woman. There was already so much fucking gay and weirdness in this family, someone had to take one for the team.”
Beck tilted his head. “Huh. Didn’t take though, did it?”
Gina studied their oldest adopted son with eyes that probably saw double of everything at the moment. “Quinn, admit it. You saw the two of us and wished you could have a piece of that action.”
“Ew,” Quinn said. “Time to cut the moms off.”
Carmen nodded. “Probably an Oedipal thing. Oedipal… Oedipal… sounds like… Oh, hey, anyone want to make me a buttery nipple?”
Their middle son, Max, groaned. “For the love of god, is there any gay man willing to toss me over his shoulder and take me to his bed?”
King Lior’s valet, Arthur, who had been standing quietly off to the side still immaculate in his wedding suit, bent at the waist in a formal bow.
“Sir, allow me.”
Felix’s jaw dropped and he leaned over to whisper to Lio without taking his eyes off the fastidious valet. “Is he strong enough to—”