Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 82341 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82341 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Doc stirred on my shoulder. “They weren’t the only ones whimpering. Badda bing.”
Max and every other Wilde sitting around us groaned. Brenda ignored us and continued. “Anyway, there was a giant vat of lube on the floor by my feet and some strappy underthing I’d never seen before nearby.”
West’s husband Nico coughed. “Jockstrap.”
“And rubber… bananas, for lack of a better word, scattered about,” Brenda continued.
Hudson, who was sitting in front of me, started howling. His husband, Charlie, asked politely if he could get a new rubber banana in San Francisco because he’d heard they had the very best ones in specialty stores there.
“You sure were observant for only being in there long enough to shriek to the heavens,” Doc mumbled against my shirt.
“I was traumatized.”
Gina piped up from her spot across the aisle. “You were nosy. Imagine sharing a room with her. Or a womb for that matter.”
I looked over and saw Carmen’s hand on Gina’s boob, clutching it like a security blanket. Carmen herself was dead asleep, her thick brown braid resting inside Gina’s shirt collar, while Gina laid into Brenda about years’ worth of misdeeds.
Our family wasn’t what you’d call quiet or private.
Before any more unseemly details came to light, I needed to nose the hound off the trail.
“Tell it to me straight. Have you all invited my sister to this wedding?”
Suddenly, ours was the quietest family who’d ever snapped their jaws shut and feigned ignorance.
I looked down to find my husband’s familiar guilty face. I narrowed my eyes at him. “Et tu, Bruté?”
“Amor vincit omnia,” he replied.
“What does that mean in English?”
“You mean besides don’t speak Latin to a doctor? It means love conquers all. Or as my old buddy John Lennon used to say, ‘All you need is love.’”
I rolled my eyes. “You haven’t met my sister. Sometimes you also need a flak jacket.”
Chapter 35
Liam “Doc” Wilde
When we entered the large wooden lodge building at the Alexander Vineyard, the first person I saw was a little old lady with white hair. I immediately assumed she was Tilly until I saw her grab a taller woman’s face between two hands and pull her down until they were eye to eye.
“Need me some sugar,” the old lady murmured. “Pronto.”
The taller woman leaned in for a kiss that took a sharp turn toward granny porn.
“What the hell?” Gina murmured beside me. “I mean, go lesbian power, but still.”
Carmen swatted at her. “It’s refreshing to see two older women not afraid to be affectionate in public. You could learn a thing or two.”
Gina turned and grabbed Carmen’s ass. “I’ll show you PDA. Peachy damned ass is what this is.”
“Can we focus please?” I asked, trying to ignore the shaking clamminess of my husband’s palm in my hand. Wes was being even quieter than normal, and it was disconcerting. “Despite what Stevie Devore called our trip to San Francisco, this isn’t Wildes Gone Wild.”
“How many old ladies could there possibly be?” Charlie asked.
Hudson held Charlie’s hand beside him. “Wait a second. I know those women.”
“How?” Charlie asked.
“I don’t know… I just recognize them from somewhere.”
“Would anyone be bothered if I bailed early and got some sleep?” Hudson’s younger brother King asked.
His sister Hallie wasn’t having it. “Yes. Me. You promised to tell me about the museum you visited in Prague. Not all of us are international travelers, you know.”
“Bitter much? Believe me, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” King sighed and muttered an agreement to rally for Hallie’s sake.
Rebecca Marian popped her head out of a hallway past the reception counter. “Oh my goodness, they’re here!” She came rushing out to greet us, followed by a good-looking man in his late thirties or early forties with strawberry-blond hair and a friendly smile. “Hi, everyone, this is my son Blue. He and his husband, Tristan, own the vineyard. Welcome.”
Everyone introduced themselves which drew the attention of the two older ladies. Granny and Irene were Tristan’s grandmothers and also best friends with Tilly.
“Is, um, is she here?” I asked. Wes had gone pale. I’d been worried about his heart condition, so I’d been keeping a close eye on his pulse and blood pressure periodically throughout the trip, but he was fine physically. That didn’t mean he was fine emotionally. I’d already tried nudging him toward the sofas arranged in front of a huge stone fireplace, but he’d stayed glued to my side instead.
Rebecca nodded and shared a soft smile with me. “I asked her to stay in her suite so you could meet with her privately. We had to bribe our big crew to stop loitering in hopes of watching the spectacle. You’ll meet everyone tonight at dinner.”
Wes shifted beside me and made a strange noise. I turned to see him truly struggling. “Baby?”
“I don’t know if… Doc…” His eyes were frantic, and a bead of sweat appeared at his hairline over his temple. “I think I need some water.”