Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 106797 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106797 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Another week went by and I felt myself start to fall into a routine. Eating right was beginning to be less of a chore and more of an instinct. I still craved sweets and sodium-packed easy meals, of course, but it was easier to fight off those cravings when I knew how hard I had to work to get that same number of calories in that chocolate bar to show up on my watch.
The watch had become an obsession for me. I loved seeing my heart rate sky rocket when I was working hard and the “calories burned” number climb right along with it. Rhodes scolded me when I drained the battery in the first few days. I accidentally left the voice memo function on after I had noted how much easier I was breathing during a run and it killed the battery life. But, I was getting the hang of it, and it was by far the best gift I’d been given in years.
Rhodes and I hadn’t hung out since that night of the fair, but training with him was becoming fun. He was different with me than before, showing me a softer side. He wasn’t a tiny meowing kitten by any means, but he wasn’t the pit bull I’d become used to, either. He talked to me more and listened to my concerns, helping me see the finish line in sight when I couldn’t. He wasn’t cooking for me anymore or running into me outside of the gym, but we were falling into a comfortable zone. Trainer and client. Jedi and Padawan.
On the flip side, Mason had texted me more than ten times since the night of the fair. The texts ranged from apologies to just asking how I was to reminding me of inside jokes we had. I’d yet to respond, but mostly because I wasn’t sure what to say. Or think, really. Where my body was making progress, my mind seemed to be falling deeper and deeper into a confusing pit of feelings. I wanted to decipher them, but I kept my focus on training and eating right. Thoughts and feelings could wait.
The problem was, when Mason texted me, I still felt that same pull to him that I always had. I knew my priorities had shifted and the lifestyle change I was making was for me, but I couldn’t figure out if Mason was still driving part of my desire to train harder, too. I would be lying if I said I didn’t still have moments where I wanted him back, and part of me hoped he was thinking the same about me, too. Still, I longed for the old Mason — the one I wasn’t sure still existed. I wanted our comfortable date nights in, our crazy nights out with our friends, the way he smiled sideways at me as he tucked me under his arm. I missed it.
When I wasn’t training or hanging out with Willow, I was still watching Lost, and I was in the middle of season four on the Saturday evening before my third weigh-in when Willow called me with news I wasn’t prepared for.
“I got in.”
She said the words with a mixture of excitement and caution, and it took me a moment to realize what those three syllables meant. She meant the kick-start program. When the news settled, I bolted up from where I’d been lounging on the couch and switched the phone to my right ear.
“Oh my gosh, Willow! Congratulations!” I swallowed hard, powering off the television completely. “I’m so happy for you.”
And I was. I really was. But at the same time, I was selfish. Willow was the only friend I had in Poxton Beach — the only true friend, anyway — and with all the drama going on with Mason and Shay, I didn’t want her to leave. I knew that made me a crappy friend but I couldn’t help it. I needed her.
Willow let out a breath. “Oh God, I’m so happy you’re happy. I was nervous to call.”
“Why?”
“Because…” her voice trailed off. “I just know you have a lot going on right now. I don’t want you to think I’m abandoning you.”
Reaching for my egg-shaped lip balm on the coffee table, I ran it over my lips to buy me a minute before I exhaled a long breath. “Are you kidding me, Lo? You’re my best friend. And this is amazing news. Can I come over to celebrate?”
“My parents are taking me out to dinner, actually,” she answered.
“Oh. Well that’s okay. Can I come by tomorrow?”
“Well…” Something in my gut told me I wouldn’t like what Willow said next. “I won’t be here tomorrow. They want me to come up for orientation on Monday and Mom wants to leave tomorrow to make the drive.”
My stomach sank along with my shoulders. “Oh. Okay. Well, we’ll just get together when you get back. When do you leave for the program?”