Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 48146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 241(@200wpm)___ 193(@250wpm)___ 160(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 48146 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 241(@200wpm)___ 193(@250wpm)___ 160(@300wpm)
“Henry thought the same, and apparently, Flash agreed.”
“Wait, what did he say?” Leah asked.
“All sorts of ridiculous stuff. Told me I was cute and that he didn’t know I was his roommate.”
“No way! Wait, does that mean…”
Damn it, I’d fucked up. We shouldn’t have been talking about this in front of Leah.
“Not for me to say.” I averted my eyes. “Probably just out of his mind.”
“I’ve seen some wild post-anesthesia clips online,” Lark said, trying to save me.
Leah grinned. “Yeah, me too.”
As Ms. Levitt was clearing our dishes, she asked, “How about some dessert on the house?”
“Oooh, do you have those warm doughnuts?” Lark had introduced them to us last year, and it was now a thing between him and Henry.
“Of course.” She winked. “Coming right up.”
I was tired by the time we got back to the dorm, but I still needed to study.
Bones didn’t even look at me as I came through the door, only grunted in greeting. He was in bed, in front of his laptop.
I used the bathroom, changed out of my clothes, then pulled out my computer. When he still didn’t say a word, I felt on pins and needles. “Everything all right?”
He clenched his jaw. “Why didn’t you tell me the shit I said under anesthesia?”
Well, fuck, Flash must’ve spilled the beans. “It’s a thing that happens, and it’s just silly.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “God. I’m sorry if I embarrassed you.”
“You didn’t. It was adorable.”
“Adorable? Ugh. I’m mortified.”
It took a lot for Bones to be humiliated by something, so why this was bothering him so much, I didn’t know.
“You know I didn’t mean anything by it, right?”
I felt a cold punch to my chest.
“O…of course.” I straightened and tried to recover my composure. “Though I’m hurt that you don’t think I’m cute and have a crush on me.”
“You’re obviously cute and hot and…” He looked away as I held my breath. “But Flash said I asked to be your boyfriend. I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me. I know how you feel about that. You’ve made it more than clear.”
I swallowed the boulder in my throat, not feeling clear at all lately.
“We’re cool. It’s okay.”
He met my gaze. “You sure?”
“Yeah. But you did say some interesting stuff about aromantic and demi something or other. I’ll admit those were new terms for me. I still don’t know what they mean, but it seems like you’ve really been trying to figure yourself out.”
“Jesus Christ, it just gets worse the more I hear.”
I laughed. “I like that about you. That you’re open to learning.”
“Maybe too open,” he muttered.
“What do you mean?”
“I told the guys tonight I’m bisexual.”
I inhaled sharply. “And how did that go?”
“Fine. All cool. There were jokes, but that’s par for the course.”
“I suppose you have Henry to thank for paving the way toward the football team’s enlightenment.”
He smirked. “True.”
It grew silent again as we resumed studying, and soon enough, he cut the light on his side of the room and went to sleep. I had the urge to ask him to watch our show and snuggle in bed, but I had a feeling that wouldn’t go over well after our talk. And that made me sad. Turned out, protecting my heart was a lot of work.
20
BONES
It was a Saturday home game, and the stadium was packed. For the first time since Parents’ Day, I was relieved to see my mom and dad in the stands. It wasn’t worth it to pick a fight with them. I needed to get over my resentment regarding the way they were dealing with my brother’s death. Nothing I could do about it.
The band played the fight song from the stands, and I couldn’t help looking for Emil and his annoying trumpet, glad we’d talked through the whole anesthesia incident. Not that I didn’t still pine and ache being in his space every day, but his friendship was worth more.
Soon enough, I tuned everything out, trying like hell to just be me and not my all-star brother. I was my own person, and if it wasn’t good enough for most people, then so be it. It only had to be good enough for me. For me to feel content and stay healthy. And if Brody were alive, he would’ve wholeheartedly agreed.
I played one of my best games and helped the defense hold our lead to a touchdown against a tough team. One I’d studied all week, not because Coach assigned me the extra task, but because it made me a better and more focused player. It was up to me to stop fucking up and finally come into my own.
My cheeks hurt from smiling as we jogged to the locker room to celebrate and change. No doubt everyone would be headed to party at the clubhouse, but I was more concerned with greeting my parents and making sure we were cool.