Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 80689 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80689 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Charity’s flu only took a week to pass, but the subsequent infection hasn’t been as easy for her to kick. Given how much chemo she’d taken before it, the doctors aren’t surprised by what a shock this has been for her system, but it’s been three weeks since she first got sick. She should be doing better than this. She should be getting out of bed more, not less.
My aunt pans over to show my sister in the hospital bed.
Seeing her in that bed tears me apart.
“I should be there,” I say as Aunt Amy turns the phone back so she’s on-screen.
“If you could, you would be,” she says, her gaze sinking, and I can tell it’s because of the unspoken fear we both share that I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting I wasn’t there with her. If something does happen, no amount of money could ever make me whole again.
“He’ll talk to Simon,” Ryan finally speaks up. “Nothing we’re working on here can’t be picked up as soon as he gets back.”
As our gazes meet, I know he’s saying that for Simon’s benefit, so I pick up the thread. “He was pretty adamant last time I asked.”
“But this is much more serious now.”
“Please ask him,” Aunt Amy says. “Just see what he says. Even if you can only make it out for a day or two, don’t you want to be here and see her in person…”
In case she passes.
It killed me that I never got to see my dad at the end, and I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t been there for Mom before she passed.
Fuck, I’m tearing up. I turn away because I don’t want Aunt Amy to see me like this. She has enough to deal with without me being emotional too.
“I’ll call you later, Aunt Amy, to let you know what he says.”
“Oh, thank you, Jonas. I love you. Charity loves you too.”
It’s hard ending that call and knowing that Charity couldn’t tell me that herself.
When I turn to Ryan, he’s gazing off, clearly lost in thought. “Simon’s not a monster. Tell him how bad it is. Tell him how much you love your sister. We know what it’s like to lose family. Everything that needs to be finished here can be finished later.”
What careful wording—a plea to Simon—to suggest that whatever torture he’s planning to inflict on his brother can be finished just as easily another time. That a few days won’t matter.
I just hope Simon’s able to reason that himself.
And I hope for something else too. Something I know is even more impossible than Simon letting me leave. “I wish you could come with me,” I whisper.
“Maybe…” he starts, like he allowed himself to consider it for just a moment, but then he closes his eyes and says, “I don’t know if that will be a possibility.”
Yes, even if I could persuade Simon to agree to a trip, there’s no doubt in my mind hell will freeze over before he lets us both out of his sight.
He wraps his arms around me, holding me close. “Go talk to him. I’ll be here when you get back.”
I know he doesn’t mean when I get back from talking to his brother, but from visiting my sister and aunt.
As I put my arms around him, I think how easy it would be to lift him up and carry him out of this house, take him with me. Why can’t it just be Charity, my aunt, Ryan, and me? We could figure something out.
“Go,” he whispers, and I pull away, pushing to my feet, when I feel his hand take mine.
I turn back, and he says, “Jonas.” His warm gaze meets mine, and he says, “I love you.”
He says it so effortlessly, like we’ve been a couple for years instead of months.
“I love you too,” I say, cupping his face in my hands and taking a kiss.
It gives me much-needed relief from the anxiety coursing through me, and it provides the boost in confidence I need to stand up to his bastard of a brother.
There’s power in knowing, regardless of what happens, that I have Ryan at my side.
We give ourselves this moment of peace with each other’s mouths before I pull away.
“Go find Simon.”
I text Simon before heading off.
He confirms he’ll meet me in his office, which takes me about ten minutes to walk to, giving me time to work myself up into a fit as I imagine the many ways he could tell me no. The sorts of arguments I could use to persuade him.
He has to understand. A few days is all I need. Although, I fear once I’m away from this place, next to my sister, I’ll need so much more. The last time I mentioned it, Simon sounded like it was off the table, but this isn’t just a flu.