Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 80689 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80689 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
“I wonder how much he struggled before he finally caved,” he adds. “Or if he even struggled at all. If you’re too similar to Kieran for him to resist.”
Our gazes meet.
“It’s hard not to see what he sees,” he whispers, as if to himself. “How does it feel when he looks at you? To be wanted like that?”
It feels like every moment I’ve lived has been so that I could get to this, share this experience with Ryan.
It feels like I’ve been dead all these years, but I’m finally alive.
Like there is a god, and he’s making up for all the horrible shit that’s happened in my life.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
Simon snickers. “Nothing. Anyway, if you want to leave to see your sister, you can keep the fifteen grand. I’m not the devil. But I can’t guarantee there will still be space in their program once that happens.”
A threat.
Motherfucker.
I think about Charity being ill and asking my aunt if she can see me.
About her wondering how I could be so busy that I can’t make time to see her in what could potentially be her last moments.
It wrecks my heart, yet I know what I must do. “I understand,” I force out. “And I’m willing to do what I have to do.”
“That’s good. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get back to why I called you here today. Obviously, I can draw my own conclusions about you and Ryan based on what I’ve seen, but I figured I might as well ask the expert. How do you think he feels about you?”
With everything going on with Charity, fuck, this is so damn petty. How the hell can he think this is worth wasting his life over? Wasting my life over?
“He seems to like me,” I say—when it’s so much more than that. God, when he looks at me, it’s like I’m the only thing he sees. I know that’s how I feel when I look at him. And I mustn’t let Simon see that.
He smirks. “You’re doing yourself a disservice, Jonas. His feelings are stronger than that, but not quite there yet.”
“There? Is there somewhere he’s supposed to be?”
Not for the first time, I’m trying to bait him into telling me more. Maybe if I can get him to open up, it might help Ryan head off whatever Simon has in store for him.
Of course, his bastard twin won’t make this easy.
He bites his bottom lip. “Yes, there is. But that’s my business. I’ll know when my brother’s ready.”
“If you tell me where I need to get him, maybe I can speed up the process.”
Don’t push too far.
“There’s no need to speed anything up. I’ve been waiting a long time for this, and I don’t mind waiting longer. That recruitment agency took a year to find you, even with the best, if not exactly legal, face-recognition software.”
So that’s how he found someone who looks so damn much like his brother.
“I would’ve waited ten years if I’d known they’d find such an exquisite specimen,” he adds. “Just keep doing what you’re doing, steady on the path. That birthday shit was a nice trick, and last night made for some great viewing.”
He’s still never come out and stated he’s watching us, but like the other times he’s danced around it, it’s not by mistake.
I don’t imagine he makes many mistakes.
He puts his middle and forefinger against my chest, running them down between my pecs, then my torso.
Get your fucking hands off me!
“You have a lot of energy. And you’re clearly ambitious. I guess I would be too if I had someone like Charity in my life and knew they were in harm’s way.”
Don’t fucking talk about her. I wish you didn’t even know her name.
“Yes, just keep on like this.” He pulls his hand back, then shrugs. “Maybe a few more dates wouldn’t kill you, but I do have one concern. Like I said, maybe you’re just doing a very good job, but between how easily you’ve warmed up to gay sex and how convincing you are when you’re with him…I do worry you might have begun sympathizing with him.”
Fuck.
“I…”
“Just hear me out. Ryan can be very charming. He can seem very innocent. But he’s not innocent. Not at all. He’s cunning. Clever. There’s something dark in him that’s always been there. He’s a liar. I fell for the act, so I missed it. But I won’t make that mistake again.”
Cunning? Dark? Liar? That sounds like Simon, not Ryan.
“Is there something I need to know?” I’m proud of myself for how that came out because my instinct was to tell him, Go fuck yourself. Ryan is a better man than you could ever dream of being.
Simon’s gaze finally pulls from me, his expression relaxing, as if releasing the facade he’s put on.