Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 91961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
I can’t help but think about my own mother, standing off to the side as my dad berated me about being gay, not taking a stand, not trying to protect or defend me.
Frankie’s expression twists up. “This is the reason I avoided bringing it up. I didn’t want to remind you of your own shit parents.”
“It’s fine,” I tell him. “You can’t help the fact that I had dickbag parents that didn’t really give a shit about me just like I can’t help the fact that you had a bastard of a dad.”
“You deserved a lot better than you got. You know that, right?”
“We both did,” I remind him.
“But it was different for me because at least I had my mom.”
He’s right; I know it.
He has an amazing mother who never judged him or hated him for who he was—a mom who he loves spending time with and who is eager to hear about his life. That’s something I never got to experience with my own parents, who in many ways, never really knew who I was because I was too afraid of their judgment to be myself around them…even when they were around and not at the church or watching Pat Robertson all day on TV.
In some ways, I feel like the puppy play helps me explore all those parts of me that I’ve spent so much of my life learning to hide from my parents…and well, most people, really.
“I’m fine now, though, Frankie,” I tell him. “I may not have parents in my life, but I have amazing friends…and you.”
“But you went for a long time without any of that. You needed a better support system. You needed people in your life who understood you and listened to you, cared about your needs. Everyone deserves that.”
“You get me fish and chips,” I tell him. “What other needs could I possibly have?”
He chuckles, and a rush of excitement courses through me. It pleases me to know that I managed to give him some relief, just like it pleases me knowing the puppy play helped distract him from thinking about his dad.
“Speaking of which,” I say, “I should probably eat. I’m kind of getting hungry.”
I rest my hand on my stomach, and Frankie smiles.
He reaches out and cups my head with his hand, offering a gentle scritch, which I lean into. “Well, get in there and get something to eat, and then we’ll watch a movie on Netflix. How’s that?”
“I’d really like that.”
He pulls me down to him and kisses my forehead.
Some impulse within me, like that impulse that had me kneeling beside him when I crawled onto the bed, takes over and I move quickly, pulling from his grip and moving my head up so he gives me a peck on my lips instead of my forehead.
I figure he’ll just pull away, but he grabs the back of my head and reels me in, forcing his lips against mine again like he did that night on the couch.
I open my mouth and taste his minty breath.
As my face fills with heat, my body trembles with excitement like it did when I was first holding that puppy hood in my hands.
And even though the intensity of this energy swirling through me feels almost like more than I can handle, there’s something about being with Frankie…and the way I feel so safe with him…that sets me at ease.
Just like with the puppy play, all I want to do is let go with him. To put total trust in him. And even more importantly, I just want him to forget about his asshole dad…to be the one to set him at ease.
I’ve been too nervous…too afraid, really…to do anything like this with anyone since Peter.
I didn’t want to get hurt. Didn’t want to be betrayed again.
A part of me feels like I should be confused or worried, but all I feel as Frankie slides his tongue into my mouth is sweet relief.
My body needs him right now…desperately.
It’s all this pent-up sexual energy I’ve only been able to release on my own, in the privacy of my room.
As my cheeks burn and adrenaline courses through my veins, it’s like everything in me is awakened to just how much I’ve been missing out on.
I straddle Frankie’s waist, and as I do, our teeth clang together slightly, evoking a chuckle from me at our sloppiness, but no sooner does the sound escape my lips, than Frankie’s lips are locked with mine once again, and I find myself moaning into his mouth.
He hooks his arms around me and leans up, pulling close to my body so our naked torsos are flush.
I can feel his bulky erection in his boxers.
Our body heat intensifies, and I tug at him as though I’m trying to pull him closer…even though we can’t be any closer than we are right now.