Total Chaos (Love and Lyrics #3) Read Online Nikki Ash

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Drama, Erotic, Romance Tags Authors: Series: Love and Lyrics Series by Nikki Ash
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Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 79553 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
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“You are not broken. Hey… look at me.” Dad lifts my face and forces me to make eye contact. “Just because Kyle isn’t the one doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of love. You love me and your mother and your brother and sisters… And you’re the best damn aunt to Felix and Marianna.”

“But that’s different. You guys are family.”

“Love is love, K. And you have a huge heart.”

“Then why can’t I find what you and Mom have?”

“Oh, sweetheart.” He palms my cheeks. “You just haven’t met the right guy yet. One day, you will meet him, and you’ll know he’s the one. You’ll look at him and see your entire life in front of you with him by your side.”

“Or maybe I’m not meant to be with anyone. Maybe… it’s not in me.”

I regret the words the second I say them, but it’s too late to take them back. My dad’s jaw clenches. “Tell me you’re not referring to your genetics.”

“It would make sense, wouldn’t it? The only thing he was capable of was destroying everyone around him. How am I any different?”

“Don’t you ever say that,” Dad says, his voice commanding. “You are nothing like that man. You might carry his DNA, but you are every bit your mother’s daughter. And you are not broken. You are perfect just the way you are.”

“You have to say that because you’re my dad,” I say lamely.

“Damn right, I am,” he says. “You might not carry my DNA, but never, for a fucking second, doubt that you’re not the best part of your mother and me.”

He pulls me into a hug, and we both go quiet as the music in the background bleeds through the walls, reminding me that I’m supposed to be walking down the aisle. They must be wondering where we are. I’m honestly shocked nobody has knocked on the door yet.

“What am I supposed to do?” I whisper even though I already know the answer to my question.

My dad pulls back and takes my hand in his, squeezing it softly. “You’re supposed to follow your heart.”

CHAPTER TEN

DECLAN

Today’s the day. The day I’ve been dreading since I received my invite almost four months ago. The day I didn’t think would actually happen. Between Kendall being allergic to commitment, what happened with us, and then her getting into an accident and losing her memory, I honestly thought the wedding would be canceled at some point, but it’s like a fireproof safe after a fire. The entire house has burned to the ground, but that damn safe is still standing.

I considered not going. It’s not like I’m in the wedding. She probably won’t even notice I’m not there. But something in me convinced me to go. Maybe it’s my way of officially saying goodbye to the woman I’ve been pining after for the past decade. It’s one thing to have feelings for her while she’s jumping from guy to guy, but it’s another to be crushing—for lack of a better word—on a married woman. And that’s precisely what she’ll be soon: married.

After I finish putting on my suit, I grab my suitcase and lock up since I’ll be gone for several weeks. I don’t have a concrete plan, but I’m thinking I’ll drive down the East Coast and probably end up in the Keys. With it being March, Florida is the perfect place to chill for a little while. The beaches are beautiful, and the laidback vibe in the Keys is exactly what I need to lose myself for a bit.

When I get down to the garage, I pop the trunk to my Dodge Challenger I had shipped here from California and throw my bag in. She’s not my favorite out of the vehicles I own, but she’s the most practical to take on a road trip, and since I purchased her right before we moved to New York, I haven’t put any miles on her.

I try calling Gage again on the way to the church, hoping something has changed, and he’s now accepting calls. Only I’m told the same damn thing by the receptionist, who I’m sure is sick of hearing from me: I’m sorry, but he’s not accepting calls at this time.

It’s been over a month, and he still won’t talk to anyone. Easton checks in with his doctor on a weekly basis, so we know he’s okay, but fuck, if I don’t want to talk to my friend myself. Hear him tell me he’s okay. Since he’ll be gone for at least ninety days, my plan is to be back by the end of April, so I’m back when he gets out. Until then, with the band on a break, there’s nothing for me here right now.

I pull up to the church, and the parking lot is filled with vehicles. I check the time and see I’m about to be late, but instead of getting out, I don’t move. I stay in the car, the engine rumbling under me, contemplating if I can do this. If I can sit in a pew and watch her promise herself to another man, one we both know isn’t right for her. I have nothing against the guy. Don’t even really know him. But from what I know, he works a lot, doesn’t put her first, and for whatever reason, when she came to me that night, she was one-hundred-percent ready to end the engagement, which tells me all I need to know.


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