Total pages in book: 204
Estimated words: 193115 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 966(@200wpm)___ 772(@250wpm)___ 644(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 193115 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 966(@200wpm)___ 772(@250wpm)___ 644(@300wpm)
“Jesse,” Sarah says, resting a hand on my shoulder. I flinch, shrugging her off. “Come on, let’s clean you up.”
“No.” I pace to my car, hearing her running across the gravel to keep up with me.
“You can’t drive like this,” she argues, sounding worried.
I yank the handle on the door of my car, nearly ripping it off. “My keys,” I say, feeling at my pockets. No keys. No phone. I head back inside, my head clouded, my mission clear. Don’t let her end this. Fix this. Prove to her what needs to be proven.
“John!” Sarah yells as she flanks me, calling for reinforcements. “John, tell him, please. He can’t drive in this state.”
“I’m fine,” I grate as I pass John, who’s managed to get Mike on the bottom step of the staircase. Coral’s husband looks up at me and recoils, scrambling up a few steps. He thinks I’m coming back for another round. If I didn’t have more important things to do, I would. “I never want to see your face around here again,” I say as I pass.
“John,” Sarah pleads. “Stop him.”
“Just leave him,” John replies as I stalk on. “Choose your battles, Sarah. Where that woman is concerned, he’ll do what he has to do, and you’ll do well to keep out of it.”
I find my keys but no phone. “Where the fuck’s my phone?” I growl, tossing pillows off the couch, searching the drinks cabinet.
“Here.”
I turn and see Sarah pulling it from beneath a file on my desk, but when I take it, it slips right out of my hand, hitting the floor with a thud. “For fuck’s sake.” I look at my keys. Covered in blood.
Sarah dips and collects my phone, grabbing a Kleenex from the box on the desk. She wipes it over and moves in, taking my hands in turn and gently cleaning them. “You’ll slip all over the steering wheel,” she says as I stand, silent, letting her do her thing. And I think as I watch her.
“What have you been saying to Ava?” I ask, relatively calmly, considering. “And don’t lie to me this time.”
She wilts. It doesn’t suit her. “I just told her you’re not the kind of man to build dreams on.” She takes my keys and wipes those too as I laugh under my breath. Because I’m an unstable fuck-up who can’t offer anything more than lies and poison.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” I withdraw from her, stepping back, and she looks up at me, her face tortured. But I bet it’s still nowhere close to the ruin embedded into mine.
“This is our life, Jesse. You, me, and John. I’m just looking out for you.”
“Well, don’t, Sarah.” I snatch my phone and keys and walk out, pacing through The Manor, my whole body shaking. I try to take a moment in my car to calm. No calm.
I race down the driveway toward the gates, and I can’t help feeling like I’m driving toward my end.
37
I know deep down she won’t answer, but a glimmer of hope inside has me calling her repeatedly on my drive into the city. When I see Sam trying to get through, I abandon yet another attempt to get hold of Ava and take his call. “I’m on my way to Kate’s,” I tell him. “I assume she’s there.”
“Yeah, I’m thinking you need to let the dust settle,” Sam says.
“No.”
“Jesse, she’s not in a good way.”
“Neither am I. Don’t tell her I’m coming.” She’ll run. She can’t run.
He sighs, and I hang up, not giving him another opportunity to try and talk me out of this. Nothing will talk me out of it.
I’m banking on this drive to give me time to cool down and gather myself, but with each call she rejects and with each mile under the tires, I’m nowhere close to being together by the time I pull up outside Kate’s. I mindlessly leave my car in the middle of the street and jog up to the door, letting my fists loose again. Desperation is controlling me. Fear rooting so deep I’m certain I’ll never dig it out. “Ava!” I bellow. “Ava, open the door!” After two minutes straight of hitting the wood, I go back to my phone, dialing her, as I reverse my steps, looking up at the house. “Come on, baby. Give me some time.”
“Hey, mate, you gonna move your car?”
I look up, seeing a guy pacing toward me, waving his arms, gesturing to the line of traffic up the street. I have no intention of moving my car, but I’ll move him if he comes too close.
“Jesse, what the fucking hell?” Kate yells, coming out and traipsing down the path toward me.
“Kate,” I breathe, meeting her on the pavement. “Kate, please, tell her I need to see her.”