Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 84394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
A rush of pride and approval fills me as I look at my brother. “I second all of that. And I happen to know from personal experience that you can’t make a man gay, no matter how much you might want to. He can be secretly gay and afraid to come out. He can already lean in that direction. He can be a closeted bisexual, but decide after three years of dating you to take all the money out of the special account you opened for him, and propose to the fake-breasted, botoxed star of Vampire Hippos 2: Blood in the Water.”
They both freeze and stare at me like I’ve grown another head.
“For example,” I add quickly, feeling my neck heat with embarrassment.
JD holds up his hand. “We need to stick a pin in that for later, because that’s information I didn’t have before now.”
“We don’t need to stick a pin in anything.”
My brother actually admired me. He told me so on multiple occasions. So, I didn’t tell him about this, because I knew he’d have a hard time believing I’d been someone’s secret Sugar Daddy. That I’d be okay with such an unsatisfying non-relationship.
I’ve never lived as loud as he always has. Never made a big deal about my sexuality, which made sense, considering my career. But when my ex and I were together, I could pretend I was in a normal relationship. Make believe it was real. But it never was. Not really. Neither one of us ever talked about the future. Neither one of us ever mentioned love.
Why was I willing to settle for that?
Why did I date him for three years?
More accurate question: Why did you expensive-long-term-booty-call him for three years?
I push my plate away, my appetite gone.
“Hey now,” JD says, reaching out to pat my shoulder awkwardly. “You’re not the maudlin brother. That’s my job. Maybe Christopher during the holidays. But never you. You’re what happens when Willy Wonka, Peter Pan and Mr. Rogers have a baby.”
I wince. Second time in two days for that comparison. “If that’s how people describe me, it’s no wonder I’ve got such an active and dynamic sex life.”
Fiona chortles. “He’s right. That’s not the greatest visual, JD.”
“I was trying to say he’s warm and fun and any man would be lucky to date him.” He hesitates. “It does sound a little creepy, doesn’t it? Imagine that hybrid baby for a minute.”
“Let’s not. Anyway, I’d rather be sensual, intimidating and lust-inducing.”
JD and Fiona both make buzzer sounds and give me dual thumbs down. She smiles apologetically. “Thanks for playing, but no can do. Maybe the sensual part, but with those curls, that skin and your gorgeous tiger eyes, you could never be intimidating. You’re more the cutie next door that grew up even yummier and rich.”
“That’s oddly specific.” I touch my hair, wondering if I was so distracted by this morning’s leg cramp session that I forgot to brush out my curls again. “But thank you?”
“Cat eyes?” JD squints at me. “They always reminded me more of those marbles kids play with. Like, commit to a color already, you’re freaking me out.”
“Everything freaks you out, Jimmy Dean. And stop with the compliments before I get even more depressed.”
“Is that the kind of man you’re interested in? Intimidating and lusty? Is my G-rated brother into bouncy castles and bad boys?”
I’m really not. I’m not even sure if I have a type, but if I did it would be the wrong type. My track record proves that I can’t be trusted when it comes to men.
I forcefully push thoughts of Elliot’s smile aside. “You tell me.”
JD stares me down. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying? You’re really going to go through with it? Let me set you up on a date or two?”
Fiona is nibbling on her fire eggs but wrinkles her nose in confusion at his words. “You said you already had three dates lined up, and that the first one is taking him out to dinner tomorrow night. Is he just agreeing to that now?”
“Snitch,” JD gasps dramatically. “Pregnancy has changed you.”
“I’m the size of a house, I can’t bend over and I’m growing two future Finns inside my body. Hell yes, I’ve changed. I’d like to see you try it.”
JD and I share a quick look of understanding, silently agreeing that women are to be respected and feared and we’re both thankful that those male werewolf pregnancy books are biologically impossible.
“Three dates? And none of them are any of the winners you dated when you were writing those articles?” I specify.
Spoiler Alert: I’m being sarcastic. None of the men he dated were winners.
“I wouldn’t do that to you. Craig maybe. If he swung that way.”
I shake my head. “And who do you have scheduled for tomorrow night? You have one minute to sell me.”