Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Felix cocks his head. “A big dog?”
“I wouldn’t get a small one. Bella would probably kill it.”
“Oh, really? I thought my cat was so sweet and not a bitch at all, Felix. What happened?” His eyes narrow. “Oh, no way. Did she show you her ass…”
My eyes shift to Bella where she lays a few feet away, and I grumble, “I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Like fuck she didn’t,” Felix laughs. “Oh, shit. She hates us both now.”
“She doesn’t hate me.”
I squat down and hold out my hand and beckon her closer by whistling between my teeth, and that usually works every time, but Bella doesn’t budge.
And did she just side-eye me?
I stand back up. “Whatever. Get a dog.”
Felix holds in his chuckle. “Okay, Jake. I’ll get us a dog.”
Us.
I want there to always be an us.
I’m fighting for it, as much as I’m fighting for myself.
Jesus. I can’t believe I almost bought a ring for Katie. I should call up my old roommate and thank him for fucking her and that entire plan.
I really thought I had it all.
Life was easier in some ways, but I didn’t have the support months ago like I do now with Felix and my brother, and the meetings I’ve found, and roommate or not, I would’ve slipped up eventually.
I can guarantee it.
And I’m not sure Katie would’ve stuck by me. But that isn’t on her.
I’m kind of an asshole. And that’s when I’m sober.
I’m worse when I’m not.
And this life isn’t for everyone.
“Ready to go?” Felix asks, shifting the bag to one hand.
He steps closer and cups my cheek with the other and scratches his fingers against the stubble I’ve been asked to keep since I got out of the hospital.
Felix likes it.
“More gifts?” I ask, glancing at the bag. I can’t tell what’s in it. “Is that more of my shit? I think I packed enough.”
“Nope. And don’t peek. I’m keeping this surprise the entire six hours.” He drops his hand and steps around me to open the door. “Come on before my big bro gets mad and lays on the horn again.”
I smirk.
Yes, that is how Felix refers to my brother now. The only way he refers to him.
I doubt he’ll use his name ever again.
I grab my duffel and follow Felix outside, where he’s standing in front of CJ’s truck with my brother and Riley. And all three of them watch me so closely and carefully as I approach, like they’re worried I might change my mind about this and take off running in any direction.
I understand the concern.
I also hate it.
“Nice scarf,” I say to my brother, hoping to shift the attention to him.
CJ stares at me as Riley tightens the blue knot underneath his chin.
“Isn’t it awesome?” she asks. “It matches his uniform perfectly.”
“That it does,” I say.
“I can’t wait for mine,” she adds.
Felix beams from the other side of my brother and tells her, “I’m working on it. I should be done soon.”
“How do you feel today?” CJ asks, still watching me closely and carefully and ignoring everyone else.
There’s no distracting him. Not when it comes to me.
And I love that my brother cares enough to worry. I just wish I didn’t give him reason to.
“I’m fine,” I say. “Ready to go.”
Riley steps forward, arms extended with a soft, sad smile on her face now. “Come here, Jake.”
I bend down and hug her with my free arm.
“You can do this,” she says. “I know you can.”
“Thanks.”
She squeezes my neck, then leans back and kisses my cheek before pulling away and dropping her head so I can’t see the tears in her eyes. But I know they’re there.
CJ throws his arm around her and pulls her against his side, and Riley discreetly wipes at her face.
I know how lucky I am to have the family I do. To have parents and a brother and sister-in-law who won’t give up on me. And Felix is included in that.
He understands this life better than anyone.
I look over at him while my brother says his goodbyes to Riley and Felix smiles when we lock eyes, and I remember being so nervous that first day in Mac’s meeting and peering down the row of chairs when I thought I might bail and catching this random boy’s attention.
He watched me like he was happy I was there and smiled at me just like he’s doing now.
He kept me in that fucking seat.
“Ready?” my brother asks, cutting into my thoughts.
The cold air stings my nose when I pull in a deep breath, and then I nod, telling him, “Yeah. Let’s do it.”
CJ secures my bag in the bed of his truck while I walk around the passenger side behind Felix, and I get the allure of vintage cars and how fucking cool it is to drive one, but my brother’s old Chevy doesn’t have a back seat.