Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Then my brother looks right at me.
“I couldn’t live if something happens to you. And I got a lot to live for, Jake. I’m trying to build this family with Riley, but if I don’t have my brother…” He pauses, his eyes flooding with tears. “I won’t make it if you don’t. So, I need you to do this. Okay? I need you to beat this. For me, and for Felix, for Riley and what I have with her… Please, Jake. Okay? Please?”
I’m instantly crying again, and I curse. “Way to fucking guilt trip me, bro. Jesus.”
“Hey. Fuck you.” CJ swipes his arm across his eyes, and I do the same. “I’ve been crying for four days straight.”
What.
“I’ve been out for four days?”
“Yep. Thanks for being all fucking dramatic. As usual.”
I laugh so suddenly my chest burns. “Ow, fucker. Go get Felix. I’m done talking to you.”
“Oh yeah? You sick of me?”
CJ pushes to his feet, and holy shit, he’s smiling at me now.
How could I ever be sick of that?
I shake my head, sniffling, and he rustles my hair.
“You gonna promise me, little brother?” he asks.
And I nod so quickly, I’m that sure. I think I give him the best gift he’s ever received.
“All right. Let me go get your future husband, which, FYI, Mom is only referring to Felix as that now. She’s ecstatic to have another son. So, heads up.”
My gaze widens. “Mom is here?”
“You overdosed, Jake. What do you think?” CJ says, pausing at the door. “Her and Dad took the first flight they could get.”
“Shit.” I wince, picturing the devastation on my parent’s faces the last time I put them through this. “Are they both here right now? Don’t let them in yet.”
“I’m calling them as soon as I step out of here. They’re at home with Riley.”
That gives me at least twenty minutes. Thirty if Mom drives.
“Hey, CJ.”
He pops his head back inside the room.
“Can you call the rehab place for me and get that started?”
“Which one?”
We share a look, and I nod, decision already made, and CJ’s expression softens.
He isn’t expecting this.
“Are you sure?” he asks quietly. “It’s up to you, and I back you no matter what, but Felix might not understand this.”
“Just do it. Okay?”
CJ drops his head in understanding before pulling the door shut behind him.
I rest back and close my eyes.
And I wait for Felix.
THIS FEELS LIKE THE END
FELIX
wanna hear something crazy
uranus was originally named george
like r u fucking kidding me
WHO TF SIGNED OFF ON THAT CHANGE JAKE
we could have a planet named GEORGE
I’m calling it george idc
call it george with me
they restocked the vending machines last night
I give this place 3.5 stars for snacks
not bad but not great either
way too many nut options
I’m so in love with you
I’ve never felt this way about anything
please wake up
u need to wake ur bitch ass up jake I’m fucking serious
sorry
I’m really sorry
I didn’t sleep much last night
all of ur brother’s friends came to see you
and everyones just so attractive? like what?
holy shit I just held my first baby!
that was terrifying
it’s 2:37am
still don’t understand how I got you
riley just brought me a sandwich
she said I looked pale
I said I am pale
she let me shower in the breakroom and gave me clothes
you left some things at their house
guess whos dick is in ur boxers jake :)
I miss you
I need u to wake up soon ok?
I miss you
I miss you
I love you. I’ll love you forever
I screenshot our texts and save them to the Google Drive folder I’ve titled “our fucking tragedy <3,” then I shove my phone into the front pocket of Jake’s hoodie (yes, I’m obviously still wearing it) and sink lower in the rubber padded chair I’ve basically claimed since it’s the only one I’ve sat in for four days straight, and if this hospital doesn’t put a small plaque on it somewhere with my name on it, I’ll honestly be a little hurt.
Okay fine. Maybe I shouldn’t be upset about something like that but like I said, it’s day four and I teared up earlier when my Snickers got stuck in the vending machine, so I can’t promise I won’t lose it over a missing chair dedication.
Oh and also, I’ve decided the whole cosmic balance of life thing is total bullshit.
Let me explain.
My life was good and then it wasn’t for a really long time, but then it was great for a while (thanks to Dean and getting sober) and then wonderful for no time at all (our love story just got started), and if Jake doesn’t wake up and I never have another great or wonderful moment, I’m sure I’ll be okay.
Does that sound convincing at all because I’m giving it my everything here.
No? It’s fine. I’m working on it.
I’ve decided the universe doesn’t owe me anything and it sure as fuck doesn’t care if my life is balanced or not.