Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
What the fuck?
What a weird turn my life has taken.
I’m out of the booth before I can think twice about what I’m even doing and return with another chocolate frosted with rainbow sprinkles. (Not chocolate sprinkles because what’s the point of that, Jake? You can’t even see them.)
I set it down in front of Felix and take my seat.
“There. Quit being sad.”
He’s shy when he looks up. “Thanks.”
“No problem.”
“So. Sponsors.”
Right. That.
“Dean isn’t taking on anyone else.” He licks frosting off his lip. “So, he’s out.”
“What about Mac?” I ask. He runs the meetings. Why wouldn’t he sponsor people too?
“Mac would be a good one.”
“That’s who I should ask, then. Right?”
“Or…”
“Or?”
Felix pushes the empty plate away (Jesus Christ. He ate that fast) tipping up his chin, and he’s just waiting for me to say what’s so obvious now.
I don’t know why I didn’t see where this conversation was going or why I wouldn’t think of him on my own.
I actually feel kind of shitty for not saying this sooner.
“You?”
His face lights up. “I’ve been waiting for someone to ask me since I hit my year mark forty-seven days ago. Because I know I’ll be the best sponsor. Like, it’s just who I am. I care a lot. And sometimes people don’t really get me because of it. Or they think I’m just clingy or whatever, but that’s not it. I like being close with people. The connection. I feel it more than others, I think. So, I know I’ll care about your sobriety just as much as my own. It’ll be that important. And I’ll be there for you whenever you need me. I don’t care what time it is or what I’m doing. I’ll be there, Jake. And I’ll check in with you every day when I wake up and every night before I crash, and I’ll make sure you’re okay. I’ll always make sure you’re okay. We’ll get you to seven years again. I know we will.”
I look down at his hand that’s on top of my own, and I wonder when he put it there and if the tattoos on his fingers hurt. But I only wonder all of that for a second, because I’m overwhelmed by how badly I want him to be my sponsor.
I think he will be the best at it. I believe every word he says. He’s got a year of sobriety behind him, so why not?
Plus, he’s promising me, just like CJ can.
That has to mean something.
I can pick anyone. But Felix is the biggest reason I’ll be going back to that meeting. So, it should be him.
Felix is nodding before I even ask, but I still say the words anyway. It seems right to me.
“Will you?”
He leans back and then motions across the table. “Give me your phone.”
I pull it out of my pocket and begin to hand it over when I see the message from CJ on the screen. I quickly read it.
Call if you need me
“Who’s CJ?” Felix asks, taking the phone from me.
“My brother.”
“The same one you’re living with?”
“Yeah.”
“He supports you. That’s good.”
Warmth spreads out underneath my skin. “Yeah. He’s the best. He’s going to be a dad.”
“No shit? That’s cool.” Felix keeps his eyes on the phone as he puts in his number, I’m assuming. What else would he be doing with it? “Did he just find out?”
“Yeah. His wife took a bunch of tests.”
“You should get her flowers.”
I stare at him. “I should?”
“She’s going to be the one doing all of the work. Your brother got off and gets to chill for nine months. Not her. She’d probably like something nice.” He shrugs. “I don’t know. Flowers are nice.”
I try and think of a place around here that sells flowers in the middle of the night. A gas station, maybe?
“I’m going to need to move out,” I share. “When the baby comes. I was stressing out about it earlier.”
His eyes lift and hold mine. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you want to use?”
“I wanted to drink. That usually leads to using.”
“How do you feel now? Still want to drink?”
“No.”
“Good. We’ll figure out the whole moving thing. Don’t worry about it now.”
“All right.”
All right. Is it that simple?
His phone beeps from underneath the table, and I realize Felix just sent a text to himself from my phone. Then he hands me mine back, asking, “Are you ready to get out of here?”
“I sure as hell don’t want another donut.”
“Aw. Really? I could totally eat another one.”
“What?” I gape at him as we both stand.
He’s a little shorter than me, skinny and pale. Those tattoos stand out like crazy against his skin.
“You ate four of them,” I say. “Plus a half. Aren’t you full?”
“No. Never.”
“Jesus.”
He laughs as I follow him outside, and we fall in step together on the sidewalk.
“You got any hobbies?” he asks.