Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129881 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 649(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
“No, he wasn’t. But I can forgive him now. You should too.”
“It’s hard for me to forgive anyone who had every opportunity to love you and didn’t. You were just a kid, Felix. And if he wasn’t making sure you felt unloved and unwanted, he left you alone. He should’ve loved you. So fuck him.”
Felix’s smile is slow and shy. “You love me how I’ve always wanted to be loved. You make up for all those years, Jake.” He kisses me. “And I’d still say yes. Just saying.”
“I’m not proposing to you in a cemetery.”
“Technically, we’re in the parking lot surrounding the cemetery.”
“It’s still fucking creepy.”
“Creepy or romantic.”
“Creepy.”
“Or—
I spin him, shutting him up, and wrap my arms around him from behind, his back glued to my front.
I walk with him around to the passenger side of the car.
Felix holds on to me, smiling when I kiss his neck. His cheek.
“Ready to go home, baby?” I ask.
Before he can answer, a massive brown and white furry head sticks out the back window and barks at us twice.
“Dunks is ready. Aren’t you, boy?” Felix asks, taking the dog’s head between his hands and leaning down so Dunks can lick his face. “Aw. Did we take too long? Don’t worry. You’ll get extra cuddles when we get home.”
Dunks.
Short for dunking.
Companion to the word donut.
As in dunking a donut.
Yep. We have a St. Bernard named ‘Donut.’
One guess who chose the name.
Felix looked into dog adoption the day after I checked into rehab. It took almost eight months, but he eventually got a call about an abandoned puppy that was found outside of the fire station.
The fire station I am now employed at.
I thought about becoming a cop like my brother, and I think I would’ve if we hadn’t been asked to write about our childhood wishes for ourselves when I was a month into rehab. But I remembered that fire safety demonstration at school and how excited I was about it that day and for weeks after, and something inside me clicked.
Then Felix came to visit and said he had a sex dream about me fucking him while wearing my gear, and that pretty much settled that decision.
I stayed in Tennessee for a year after I completed rehab.
That was the hardest year of my life.
I moved in with my parents and worked with my dad doing handyman jobs around the area. He taught me a lot, and it was stuff I knew would be nice to know how to do around Felix’s house, so I paid attention and did everything he said. It was good for me.
I went to meetings every day. Sometimes twice a day. I kept baking.
And when I was strong enough and settled into my sobriety, I finally moved back home.
With Felix.
And then I had everything I wanted, except one thing.
Dean referred me and vouched for my character with the fire chief (who only lets Dean do his ink), and that was something I didn’t ask for but absolutely needed, considering my criminal record and the dishonorable discharge attached to my name.
Felix was right. Dean’s pretty great.
Once I heard this new career path wasn’t a pipe dream, I applied to take the exam and immediately started training. And with help from my brother, I passed the physical fitness test with ease.
The exam was tough, but I did well on that too.
Nine months later, I graduated from the Ruxton Fire Academy Training Program.
CJ pinned my badge at the ceremony while Felix, Dean, Riley, my parents, Miguel, and Hector all cheered from their seats.
Miguel cried.
Today, I am eight hundred and twenty-seven days sober.
My name is Jake Tully and I’m an addict. And I’ll always be an addict. I’ll never beat this.
But I’ll keep going to meetings, and I’ll talk to my sponsor (who I’m going to ask to marry me), and I’ll fight this until I win.
We are going to win.
THE TRAGEDY OF US
FELIX
SIX HUNDRED AND THIRTY-THREE DAYS LATER
(FOUR YEARS TOTAL)
Dear Reader,
We did it :)
Jake + Felix Tully <3
THE END