Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 97951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
She sat there thinking about what Dr. Saint Aknaten had stated. The puzzle pieces were coming together. Damn if he wasn’t right.
“That makes perfect sense. Actually, he is right now starting his own fitness center. I’m so proud of him. He bought this old dealership, and they are adding to it to make the area larger. They’ve already broken ground and the addition is being built. It’s going to be really nice when they’re all done.”
“That’s great news. I’m very happy for him. He has to keep moving and burning off steam, if you will. Your fiancé has a lot of rage and physical strength, and that can be quite dangerous if he doesn’t have an outlet.”
“I know. Believe me,” she shook her head, “I know.”
“As I told you earlier, I don’t believe for a second though, that he’d ever hurt you, or anyone he loves, in a million years. That’s control. That’s mastery over oneself. He and I spoke about it in depth, and he was one of the more self-aware clients that I’ve had over the years. I admired that about him. Lennox is a soldier, by birth. He was bred with the intention to destroy.” A wave of confusion flowed within her. “It’s complicated, would take a long time to explain, but in a nutshell, it’s in his genes. He needs to hurt things. Someone, long ago, had a propensity to be warlike. A harsh warrior, an iron-fisted ruler, and that gene kept getting passed down in his family, especially amongst the boys.
“The more testosterone the person has, the worse it shows up in them. It’s in his bloodline, a family curse, just like what you mentioned in your email regarding your own grandmother’s warning. Lennox though, having a good moral compass, wants to mainly focus his wrath onto bad people. He wants to destroy the ugly things in this world and stop bad people from hurting good people. This goes against how it was typically done in his family. He’s breaking code, and that may be pissing some people off.” How in the hell does this man know this?! Lennox obviously spoke to him, ’cause ain’t no way. “He struggles with accepting this about himself because he resents having any violent tendencies at all. He’s a work in progress.”
“He said you helped him with a lot of stuff, and this was one of them.”
“Yeah, I did. I helped him learn how to admit it, live with it, but control it better. When Lennox is in emotional pain, he is susceptible to acting out when he is depressed or angry. It could be excessive drinking to numb it—which from my understanding he has not abused alcohol in years—being promiscuous which stopped soon after his therapy with me, or beating someone up when a warning would have sufficed. Something tells me that this has slowed down, but not ceased.” The man leaned back and smirked.
That’s an understatement…
“I’ll just say that he’s been a little active.”
Saint cracked up at this, laughing loudly. He had a really great laugh, one that came from the belly.
“Okay, okay, that’s fine, as long as he is using his coping skills, he’ll be okay.”
“You mentioned I was like his mother, and he’s said that to me several times, too. I wonder though if that could be a bad thing in some way? Like, I want to be this man’s wife. Don’t want him to subconsciously see me as his mom.”
“That’s not how this works, though I understand your question and concern. It’s not a sexual thing, and it’s not a replacement issue, per se, either. Lennox has mommy issues, but in a good way, too. His mother was good to him, but she died too soon. Just like mine did. It was sudden, and he was still quite young when it took place. He was traumatized, and from my understanding, he did not have the support he needed during that time. In fact, he had to step up in areas that he shouldn’t have been expected to. He was never allowed the time to properly grieve because he had to take care of everyone else. That resentment and anger built up, and built up, and built up, until it exploded. And that is why he needed help.
“It was the root of his acting out, but you being like his mother, and him wanting someone like her, is about him being drawn to women who are emotionally intelligent, have a desire to learn, spiritual strength, are intellectually sound and gifted, possess external beauty since he is a visual person. His mother was known to be an attractive woman, but more importantly, he wanted a mate with a good heart. Someone who gave a damn about others. Like his mother. Yes, both you and his mother worked in the sex industry, but he is not looking at that sexual aspect, per se. He is looking at it as you both did what you felt you needed to do to reach certain goals, and you both just happened to choose a similar profession.”