Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 96833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
“I love secrets.” She beamed. “What is it?”
“You’re the first woman I’ve ever come inside.”
Her eyes widened. “How is that possible?”
“Well, one of my biggest fears was always getting someone pregnant. I was always careful and never trusted anyone, even if they said they were on the pill. So…”
Abby blinked rapidly, seeming genuinely confused. “Yeah, but not even with your wife?”
I realized how strangely impossible that seemed, but the circumstances with Britney were unique. “We were scared she’d get pregnant in the midst of her treatments. That would’ve been bad. And she couldn’t tolerate birth control.” I shrugged. “So we used condoms.”
“Wow. So I’m really your first, since you knew you couldn’t get me pregnant.”
“Because you already are, yeah.” I chuckled.
She cackled. “That’s crazy.”
“It is a bit crazy. The first person I ever had unprotected sex with is already pregnant with my child, even though we’d never had sex before. Wrap your head around that one.”
“I feel like that’s a story. Like…it would lead the news if someone found out about it.”
I squeezed her ass cheeks. “It’s definitely something.”
We lay there for a bit, just being together. But as the minutes passed, reality began creeping in, a distant voice in my head trying to ruin the moment. What have you done?
Abby apparently sensed the change in my demeanor. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
“I hope I haven’t fucked things up with you,” I admitted.
She forced a smile. “Don’t worry. I won’t be stupid and fall in love with you or anything.” She poked me with her finger. “Your dick is not that powerful, Sigmund Benedictus.” She winked. “Close, though.”
Relieved that she was making light of my very real fear, I kissed her, knowing full well that if anyone was in danger of falling too far here, it was me.
CHAPTER 34
* * *
Sig
Track 34: “Detached” by Lyn Lapid
“Everything okay?”
Lavinia interrupted my thoughts as I sat at the kitchen table with her after dinner. I’d come on Friday evening to stay the weekend at the inn, and we’d just poured some tea.
“Yeah,” I said. “Why?”
“You were staring off into space.”
I’d just been thinking about Abby. It had been a long couple of months since I’d left her in Rhode Island, and she’d had an ultrasound today. She was now a little over seven months along.
It felt like I hadn’t seen her in forever. Felicity and Leo’s son, Eli, had arrived the day after I returned from the States. The baby looked like a giant now, compared to when he was born two months ago. I kept using his size as a gauge to measure how long I’d been away from Abby. Not a day went by that I didn’t miss her like mad.
Ever intuitive, Lavinia, as usual, decided to stick her nose where it didn’t belong. “Are you thinking about her?” she asked.
“Even if I were, why would that be any of your business?” I took a sip of my tea.
“You are my business, Sigmund. What other business do I have?”
I immediately felt like an arse. Without children of her own, Lavinia looked at me like a son.
“I’m sorry. I suppose that’s true.” I sighed. “Yes, I was thinking of her.”
“Anything you want to share?”
“Not particularly.”
Lavinia obviously knew Abby and I had some sort of physical relationship before Abby left, but she’d never asked me for specifics, nor did I divulge anything. She knew nothing about what had happened between Abby and me in Rhode Island, specifically that we’d had the most amazing sex of my life right before I’d come back here.
“Anything you’re willing to share?” she prodded.
Sighing, I rubbed my temples. “I miss her, alright? Is that what you want to hear?”
She smiled. “I miss her, too. She really brightened things up around here.”
“Indeed, she did.” I paused. “But we’re better off being apart.”
Lavinia tilted her head. “Why would you say that?”
“I took things too far with her. You already know that—I don’t need to spell it out. This situation was complicated from the beginning, and I made it worse by crossing the line. This distance is probably a blessing in disguise.”
“A blessing? Except you’re not happy. And I doubt she is, either. How does that make sense?” She leaned in. “Why can’t you two be together, anyway?”
My chest constricted. “Are you seriously asking that?”
“Yes. I want you to tell me the reasons.”
“How much time do you have?”
She crossed her arms. “Plenty.”
“I forgot who I was talking to. You don’t have anything better to do.”
“So, tell me.”
“The very reason surrogacy works is the separation, the boundaries that go along with it. This baby doesn’t have a mother. I know Abby. I know she would want to be involved in its life if she were around long enough. And I can’t do that to her. She’d be stuck. She has her whole life ahead of her and didn’t sign up for that.”