Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 117363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
“You are naïve.”
“Maybe you’ll define success by how we do this season, but I’m not obligated to do the same. You are going to be my success story: Jean Moreau the person, not Jean Moreau of the perfect Court. You take care of one, and I’ll take care of the other.”
“That is not how it works.”
“Is there a rule against it?”
“There is no merit to it. This is all I am.”
Jeremy ignored that and asked again, “Is there a rule against it?”
Jean opened his mouth, closed it, and gave an impatient gesture. “Technically, no, but—”
“Good,” Jeremy said, lifting his chin in defiance. He knew what the answer was going to be, but he still had to try: “Do you want to talk about it?”
“There is nothing to talk about.”
“You sure about that?”
“Stop asking,” Jean said. “You only think you want these answers.”
And that—that wasn’t much, but Jeremy still felt a sick trickle of hope. Jean knew his secrets were horrible and cruel; he knew no one outside of the Ravens would ever be able to justify them. That meant some part of Jean understood that what had happened to him was a monstrous crime even as he deflected and brushed it all aside as necessary and deserved. Maybe he couldn’t face that truth yet, and until he could he’d never really heal, but the seed was planted. Jean was just smothering it with everything he had so he could survive.
What happens when he loses his grip? Jeremy wondered. When Jean finally had to accept that the inhumanity inflicted on him for years had been for nothing, would he rage against the unfairness or shatter under a weight carried far too long?
-
For reasons Jeremy couldn’t really understand, he didn’t tell Laila and Cat about what happened at Lyon on Monday. It made him a little anxious, keeping a secret from them, but Jean proved to be a good distraction from that guilt. Having access to the court again after three months away settled Jean’s nerves in a way nothing else had. He seemed more aware of himself and where he was than he had since Wayne died. Jeremy might’ve called it wishful thinking, but Laila and Cat commented on his improved mood as well.
Laila was optimistic enough about his rebound she even subjected herself to another shopping trip with him to fill out more of his wardrobe on Friday. Jeremy and Cat were uninvited before they could even offer to go along, so Jeremy spent the afternoon tracking down the rest of his inner circle. Jean would get a chance to meet all of the Trojans on Monday, but throwing twenty-odd new faces at him at once didn’t seem an ideal route to take. If Jeremy could at least get his friends together for a preemptive meetup and show them Jean was not a threat, it’d be a good start.
He had a long-established group chat for the eight of them, but since Laila was busy with Jean, Jeremy didn’t want to blow up her phone. He scrolled to the captains’ chat that included only himself, Cody, and Xavier. Xavier could speak for Min, and Cody should still have Pat and Ananya close by, so Jeremy could get word out to the whole group through just the two of them. He went back and forth with them as Cat whipped up two different kinds of muffins.
Jeremy fired off a quick selfie to show off his hair before asking Cat, “Restaurant or here?”
“Nine might be a tight squeeze,” she said. “Maybe we can go to that Hawaiian place on the far side of campus? Easy walk from where they’ll have to leave their cars, anyway, and it should have something even Jean will agree to eat.”
Jeremy only got the message half-typed when a text from Laila derailed him. Cat couldn’t check her phone, since she had a muffin pan in one hand and a spatula in the other, so Jeremy grimaced and passed Laila’s news along: “Jean’s been made. Lot of rude questions about Wayne and Colleen, sounds like, so they’re heading home early.”
“Great,” Cat said wearily. “And he was finally cheering up, too.” She tipped her head back to stare at the ceiling, considering her options. “Guess we ought to host them here, then. I’m not sure Jean will want to go out again after dealing with nosey strangers. Soon as I figure out what I’m feeding us I’ll head out to the store.”
Jeremy erased his original message and started over. It only took a few more texts to nail down a meeting time and get some dinner suggestions, and then there was nothing to do but taste test Cat’s muffins and get the dishes going.
They were sprawled together in the living room when they heard Laila’s car pull up, and Cat got up immediately to get the door. Jeremy waited for their arrival in the hall. Jean’s expression was unreadable as he slipped past, but Jeremy didn’t miss the way Laila watched him go. He took Jean’s bags from her so she could stay behind with Cat, and he turned away as Cat kissed the tension out of her.