Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 117363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Lisinski put a hand to his shoulder, and Jean let her shove him to his knees. He planted his hands against the ground and bowed his head as he gasped. Jeremy sat cross-legged beside him while Lisinski towered over them both. Jeremy wasn’t sure what to do, so he held tight to Jean’s wrist and just murmured, “You’re okay, you’re okay,” until Jean found his way back to them. Finally Jean sat back on his heels and stared defeated at the floor in front of him. His heartbeat was still faster than Jeremy would’ve liked, but Jeremy slowly let go of him.
Lisinski crouched in front of them. “I’ll take an explanation now.”
“I’m sorry, Coach.”
“Don’t apologize to me,” Lisinski said, incensed, and Jean subsided. “I’ve met people who can’t swim, and I’ve met people who were afraid to try, but I’ve never in my life seen someone react like that. Tell me what that was about.”
Jeremy expected a story about childhood trauma. Jean had just told him the other week that Marseille was on the coast. Surely there was a story there about a reckless child going too far into the water and almost drowning, or a local tragedy that had fueled nightmares for years. He was ticking through every possible option when Jean answered, and the hideous truth was not one Jeremy would have ever considered:
“Water was used as a correctional tool at Evermore, for performance and attitude,” Jean said, sounding worn to the bone. “I have some lingering issues, but I will work through them, Coach. I promise I will not fall behind.”
“Quiet,” Lisinski warned him, and Jean obediently fell silent. Lisinski drummed her fingers on her knees as she considered him. At long last she shook her head and said, “I will find something else for you to do while we’re in the water. Official story if the Trojans ask is you can’t swim.”
“Coach, I can do it. I will not fail.”
“I said no,” she said, and Jean had no choice but to subside. “James said you found a doctor, yes?” When Jean gave a stiff nod, she continued, “Then you are going to talk to him or her about this, understand? You can revisit this with me after you’ve made some actual progress and not before.”
She looked between them, so Jeremy added a quick “Yes, Coach,” to Jean’s more subdued response.
“That’s about it for today,” she said, getting to her feet. “I can give you a ride home.”
Jeremy glanced over at Jean. “I’d rather walk, I think. Some fresh air will do us good.” When Jean murmured quiet agreement, Jeremy looked up at Lisinski and said, “Thank you, though, Coach. And thanks for letting us take a crack at the court today.”
Lisinski sent Jeremy a hard look that he interpreted as Keep an eye on him. When Jeremy nodded understanding, Lisinski returned it and said, “I will see you two on Monday.”
She turned and left them there. Jeremy waited until she left before scooting across the ground and leaning against the wall at Jean’s side. Maybe Jean sensed an interrogation was coming, because he loosely hugged his knees to his chest and stared balefully in the opposite direction. Jeremy considered taking pity on him for only one second, and then he carefully leaned to one side to press his shoulder into Jean’s. Jean was still trembling, though in faint and scattered bursts.
“You were going to go through with it, weren’t you?” Jeremy asked. “You were really going to get in the pool with us next week knowing what it would do to you.”
“My issues are mine alone,” Jean said. “I will not ask for accommodations and hold back the team. I will figure something out.”
“That’s not fair,” Jeremy said, and when Jean opened his mouth to argue, added, “to you or us. For someone who seems so sure of what he deserves, you don’t seem to give any thought to what anyone else does. You’re forcing us to hurt you without giving us any say in the matter.”
“I am horrifically behind as it is,” Jean said, and the self-loathing bleeding into his voice was painful to hear. “You do not know how much is riding on this. I cannot afford handicaps and special treatment, and you should not waste your time coddling me. You are my captain and my partner. Do you know what that means? Your success is my success; your failure is my failure. This is the covenant which every pair operates under.”
“Coddling,” Jeremy echoed, and it was a wonder he didn’t choke on it. “They really hurt you. You are not okay in ways I can’t even imagine. Can you see that?”
“I can still play.”
“I don’t care,” Jeremy shot back, and the confusion that flickered across Jean’s face hurt to see. He gave a frustrated jerk of his hand and said, “That’s not—I do care. I want you to play with us, and I want you to have fun again. I want to see what you can do on the court and what you bring to our defense line. I want us to finally win this year after coming so close and failing too many times. But it’s just a game, Jean. Your safety and happiness will always be more important than our season.”