Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 76573 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76573 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
She was already pulling out her phone, tapping away with a huge, excited grin on her face. “They’re going to love you.”
“It’s just for single people trying to meet each other in Kansas, right?”
“Basically, yes,” she said. “I’m inviting you now. The group is called BackOutThere Kansas. And it’s just that. For people getting back out there after not dating for a while. Some of them use the group as a way to meet people, some just talk about their lives and struggles, some are looking for hookups, some are looking for love.”
“How many people are in this thing?” I asked, reluctantly pulling out my phone and accepting the group invitation.
“Usually somewhere around a hundred at a time. People come and go, because obviously, if somebody finds love, they quit the group.”
“I definitely don’t want to find love.”
“Yes you do.”
“Definitely not.”
She giggled. “I don’t know why you’re always so convinced of that.”
I shook my head. “Love always sounds great. But I don’t need to be tied down. An important part of love is compromise, right?”
“Of course.”
“I don’t like compromise,” I said.
“Bullshit.”
“Like I said, I like my weird little life just the way it is.”
“Why don’t you want to compromise?”
“Why would I want to? My life’s been nothing but compromise,” I said, furrowing my brow as I looked out over the view. “At least until I got out. I had to move to any shitty town my parents dragged me. Joined up when I was eighteen, got sent wherever the Marines wanted me. It felt like freedom at first, like traveling was some grand adventure. But then there was Afghanistan.”
“Which definitely wasn’t a grand adventure,” she said quietly.
“Not the good kind.”
Liz knew that I didn’t like talking about my time overseas, and she was completely respectful of it. She never prodded when I brought it up, and it was part of the reason I loved her.
“Love isn’t that kind of compromise, though,” she said. “It’s merging your life with somebody else’s, in a way that both of you want it.”
I shook my head. “I can’t even picture that.”
She reached over, squeezing my shoulder. “Don’t overthink it.”
Easier said than done. So many times, I’d tried and failed to find love. Or really, it felt like love had failed to find me. I would meet men. I’d enjoy their company. But something always, inevitably, would feel off.
Sex would be good, or great, even, sometimes.
But love was something else. Men would like me, but they wouldn’t like my tent-sleeping habits. They’d want my dick, but would pry way too much into my past. And some had even overtly said they wouldn’t want to date someone who was a groundskeeper. I knew I didn’t make millions of dollars, but I had a job I loved. A job where I was basically totally independent, where no one interfered with my vision. And a job I felt safe in, after a decade of feeling unsafe at every moment in the military.
And then there were guys like Cam. Guys that sounded like a dream to me, but had lives far too different to ever mesh with mine.
Cam had a whole world. Children. An ex-wife. And he’d very clearly shown me that he didn’t want anyone to step into his life anytime soon. I respected it, even if I couldn’t know how he felt. He was being a good father to his kids, in a way, when he kicked me out.
Cam wasn’t compromising, either.
I liked that about him.
So I was going to join the stupid group chat. There was no point dwelling on another man who I wouldn’t be able to make myself fit with.
I looked down at my phone, downloaded the GroupUp app, and joined BackOutThere Kansas. Right as I joined, I saw the group chat flowing, a bunch of people talking and sharing photos of their dogs.
“Wow,” I said. “It’s always this active?”
“It ebbs and flows,” she said. “But yeah, most times of the day, you will see some sort of activity.”
“You’ve been in this group for at least a month,” I said, “and you haven’t found anyone?”
She shoved me gently on the shoulder. “I told you. It’s not like a dating app. It can be whatever you want to make of it. I haven’t found a guy, but I’ve made a couple friends. Lacey and Cara. They’re about an hour east of Amberfield, but they’re awesome.”
“Who is Runner505?” I asked.
“That’s Adam. He joined last week, but he’s already a social butterfly.”
I squinted down at my phone. “GeorgiaBoy. ObiWan_Jedi. Nancy318. Okay, I’m definitely not expecting to find love here.”
Liz grinned. “My name is LizzyBee on here. Don’t judge. And you never know where you might find love.”
“I don’t want love, I want to fuck someone.”
Even as I said it, I realized the truth. I didn’t just want to fuck someone, I wanted to fuck Cam.