Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 95147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
MACE
I was expecting the knock on the door the next day, so I wasn’t surprised when my brother showed up at the crack of dawn. “Hey bro, you got a minute? I tried calling, but your phone’s been off all night.” Then you should’ve taken the hint. I didn’t say it out loud because there was no point in taking my anger out on him, though I had a pretty good idea why he was here.
Our parents had raised us to stick close to each other, to always stand with each other no matter what, and I’m sure this time was no different, that he was here to make peace and try to salvage my relationship with our baby sister. I’m also certain that it was my parents who had sent him here to do just that, but they were all going to be bitterly disappointed.
Still, there was no harm in hearing him out because I know how they think. If I fly off the handle and lead with anger, it’ll be a sure sign that they can talk me around to their way of thinking and doing their bidding. But if I stay calm and firm, then they’d know that I meant business. It won’t stop them from trying, of course, but at least they’ll know how serious I am about this and maybe talk to their daughter and get her some help.
I’ve always given in to my parents out of respect, but if they wanted me to stand with Roz on this one, then I’d have to say my respect for them might take a hit as well. I understand loving and supporting one’s family, but there should be a limit lest you lose your own humanity.
I’d thought of nothing else all night but the situation, and no matter how I looked at it, I wasn’t wrong. The guilt I felt was eating me up inside, but it wasn’t guilt over severing ties with my sister, but guilt over the things she’d said about someone who’d come to mean so much to me.
It was the one thing I couldn’t reconcile and still couldn’t when I finally drifted off to sleep. Why do I feel so guilty? As if I was the one at fault? It took me till the early morning hours to put it together and realize that I was feeling this way because I hadn’t told Stephanie the truth.
I’d spent the day out on the water trying to make things up to her yesterday, and she didn’t have a clue what went on or why I’d been going above and beyond to make her happy. I still don’t know if I should tell her or not. Or if I’m deceiving her by not sharing those horrible words with her. But each time I think of telling her what my sister and her friends had done, I feel sick to my stomach.
I can’t imagine hurting her like that; I can’t see the merit in it. I don’t want to see the hurt in her eyes if I repeat that awful shit to her with my own mouth. For that reason, I won’t ever expose her to Roz and won’t let her be in the same room with her, not as long as my sister still thinks the way she does.
It would be too much like a betrayal, and that’s something I can’t and won’t do to her. I never understood until now that someone else’s pain could become my own. I’m hurt on her behalf, and the truth is, had Roz not been my blood, I would’ve done something much worst.
“Coffee?” I waved my steaming cup in front of him, and he followed me back to the kitchen to pour himself a cup. “I guess you know why I’m here.” I didn’t answer him as I took up a spot leaning against the kitchen counter and waited.
The thing I’d learned as a man is that it’s okay to protect my family and to stand by them when necessary, but it’s also best to support them only when they are in the right. Blindly supporting someone else in their bullshit doesn’t do them any favors, as I’d learned this time with Roz.
So, I sipped my coffee and waited to hear what my brother, someone I respected, had to say. I watched as he spooned a pound of sugar and three cups of cream into the eight-ounce cup of coffee; at least, that’s what it looked like he was doing. Just looking at that debauchery made my stomach hurt. Guy still eats like a kid.
“I’m going to have my coffee; that should take me at least ten minutes. That way, I can tell the folks that I was here.” I still didn’t answer him though I felt the tension leave my shoulders. I wasn’t looking forward to losing another family member so soon after losing the first.