Total pages in book: 55
Estimated words: 52813 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 264(@200wpm)___ 211(@250wpm)___ 176(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 52813 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 264(@200wpm)___ 211(@250wpm)___ 176(@300wpm)
Stella hugs Sean for a full two minutes, both of them saying things in each other’s ears. Are they talking about me?
“You’ll be seeing more of me,” Sean says when he hugs me. “Your wife and I are besties now.”
“I’d like that.”
“She adores you, you know. I can tell you’re on her bad side right now, but remember that she adores you. It’s all over her face every time she looks at you. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint.”
I hug him again. “Thanks, man. I’m really glad we got to meet you and Braden.”
Our trip to the airport is spent in silence for the first ten minutes, and then Stella passes me a brown paper bag.
“What’s this?” I ask.
“Just open it.”
I reach into the bag and take out a. When I unfold it, I see that it says Paradise Palms and has a drawing of the resort.
“Just a little something to remember the trip,” she says.
I hesitate before saying, “Thanks.”
That could either mean her anger has cooled a little bit, or it could be a final farewell. Been there, did that, got the T-shirt, moving on with my life.
For some insane reason, I love her even more now that she’s mad at me. It makes this thing between us more real, and I don’t want the wedge between us to last forever. Just the past sixteen hours have been painful enough.
“Are you ever going to forgive me?” I ask her.
She looks at me, her expression soft. “It’s not like that.”
“You won’t talk to me or look at me. I didn’t think not telling you was a betrayal, but you’re taking it that way.”
She sighs heavily and takes my hand. “It’s okay, Ben. I just have a lot to process. Not only with you and me, but also Owen and my mom. This mood is mostly not about you. It’s about heading back to reality.”
I nod, relieved. “Whatever you need from me, let me know.”
“Thank you. For absolutely everything. Words just don’t seem like enough to convey what this trip did for me, but that’s all I have. I’m going back better than I was when we left.”
“Me too.”
I let the conversation end there, because I don’t like the feeling in the pit of my stomach. Thank you for everything is close-out wording. If she still wanted to be with me, it would be what should we do for dinner tonight or when will we tell your parents.
I never wanted to be her rebound guy, the one who patches up her heart, shows her she can have feelings for someone again, and then watches her off alone into the sunset. But maybe that was all I ever had a chance to be.
I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that I had a taste of being with her. Time will tell, I guess, but at least I know my gut was right. She is the most incredible woman I’ve ever known, and no one else will ever compare.
Chapter Seventeen
Stella
Three weeks later
As soon as I see Ben, my heart swells with happiness. He’s here. I knew he would be, but when I see him, relief and sadness course through me so strongly it’s hard to pay attention to my mom’s friend who’s talking to me.
“She’s at peace now,” Nancy says. “And you were such a devoted daughter to her. She loved you and your brother so much.”
“Thank you. All those times you came over to play cards when she was sick meant a lot to her.”
Nancy’s eyes fill with tears. “It’s so hard to believe she’s gone. So young.”
Her husband says, “We’re very sorry for your loss, Stella,” puts an arm around his wife and moves her along to my brother, next in the receiving line at my mom’s visitation.
I wouldn’t wish the hell of this past week on anyone. My mom was in good spirits when I got back from Maui and we had several good days together. But once she started to decline, things moved quickly. In the past week she was in tremendous pain when she was awake, confused about where she was and what was happening. It was so difficult for Andrew and me that we finally told the hospice people to keep her comfortable, even if it meant she never woke up again.
She didn’t. She passed away in peace with me, Andrew, Val, Claire, and her sister keeping vigil at her side. That was three days ago, and my emotions are still everywhere.
Mostly I’m relieved she isn’t suffering anymore. That was hellish. But I also miss her terribly and am devastated she’s gone. No matter how long we knew it was coming, her death still hit me with the force of a freight train. The grief is physical; I feel it in my body every waking minute and it even haunts me during the fitful sleep I’ve gotten.