Total pages in book: 185
Estimated words: 191421 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 957(@200wpm)___ 766(@250wpm)___ 638(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 191421 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 957(@200wpm)___ 766(@250wpm)___ 638(@300wpm)
“Your mistake, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Mine. In fact, Lucas, listen —”
But he cuts me off again before I can confess the real reason why it was my mistake that night. “Because of which my life has changed. My life has become difficult. My life needs fucking fixing.”
“God, yes. And —”
“So this is how you fix it.”
My words have all dried up now and all I can do is pant and gasp.
“This is how you make amends. You let him go and you come back to me. I’m willing to forget that kiss, Echo. I’m willing to forget you said no to me. In fact, I’m willing to forget how screwed up our relationship was. How you strung me along. And you did that, didn’t you? You called yourself a bad girlfriend.”
“Yes.”
“So this is how you become good. This is how you fix everything that you’ve done.”
Seconds go by when all I can do is hug my waist, dig my nails into my flesh and keep my eyes pinned on the cracked floor of my dorm room, with the phone clutched to my ear.
I think my brain thinks that if I don’t move or make a sound, nothing bad will happen.
The ground won’t shift and the world won’t fall apart.
Because that’s what it feels like.
That the world is falling apart.
“But he saved you,” I whisper as a tear skates down my cheek. “He saved you on that playground. All those years ago. He’s a good friend, Lucas. Don’t do this to him. Please.”
As soft as my words were, his are just as loud and scoffing. “Yeah, he loves to tell that story, doesn’t he? How he saved me.” Then, “Listen, you don’t need to feel so bad about him. He doesn’t care about you, despite what you think. Despite whatever he’s shown you. It’s all a lie. Do you remember the Halloween party? Where he got me so drunk with all those girls on me.”
I do remember it.
I remember being so enraged because of it. I remember hating Reign for it.
But now that I think about it, after everything that I’ve seen and after everything that he’s done, I can’t believe it.
I can’t believe that Reign might have done something like that.
But then if Reign hadn’t, why would Lucas say that he did?
Why would Lucas… lie?
That doesn’t make sense. That…
“And do you remember how he never wanted us to be together? That’s the guy you kissed and that’s the guy you’re defending. He’s incapable of thinking about anyone other than himself. So you think about that and give me a call when you’re ready.”
“Hey, I need to talk to you both,” I say to Jupiter and Poe as soon as I find them.
It’s lunch break and they’re sitting outside in the courtyard, on one of those concrete benches. In fact, the rest of the thin population of St. Mary’s is here as well, scattered around the space. It’s summer and the sun is out, and this is the only way we can soak some up, given we’re trapped in this concrete prison of a reform school.
Jupiter throws a pencil at me when I sit down. “There you are.”
“Yeah, I –”
“Do you want to get out of here or not?” she asks sternly.
Holding onto her floppy purple hat, Poe leans forward. “Or do you want to stay at St. Mary’s for the rest of your life?”
I shake my head. “Listen, I —”
“No, you listen,” Jupiter says angrily. “We have finals.”
Poe brandishes a textbook in my face. “We need to study so we can get our lives back.”
Right.
Finals next week.
I remember. I just don’t care at the moment.
“I have a problem,” I say when they calm down.
They both look at me for a second or two. Then, Jupiter goes, “I knew it.”
Poe nods as well, blowing on her bangs. “Yup.”
“Well, yes, I do have a problem and —”
“It’s been two days,” Jupiter interrupts me.
Poe shakes her head. “And you haven’t said anything.”
“I know. I —”
“We’ve been giving you time though,” Jupiter tells me.
Poe slaps a hand on her textbook. “But that time is over now.”
“Oh my God,” I lean forward and look at them one by one. “I know. That’s why I’m here. That’s why I said I have a problem. Can you guys let me talk?”
“Right,” Poe goes.
“Sorry,” Jupiter mutters. Then, “How can we help?”
Ugh.
I love them.
They’ve been so supportive of me and my flimsy, barely thrown-together plans. They’ve listened to me, helped me, and I would’ve told them about my date/non-date with Lucas that happened two days ago. Like I’ve been telling them about all the developments and dates.
But I’ve just been so heartsick.
So sad and miserable.
But ever since Lucas’s call last night, that sadness has been replaced by determination.
“I…” I swallow. “He said he was… ready to forgive me and try again.”