Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 71768 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71768 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. How many nights had Brooks and Monica done exactly this? Lain down with their kids, cuddled them. And in any of those times had they ever thought that one day they’d just disappear?
With a sigh, I set the medicine down, ready to lie next to Viera, only to have her shake her head. “No, you needs to be in the middle, that’s how we always laid in the bed.”
Grief tugged at my heart as I crawled over her and then pulled her into my arms.
Colby sighed next to me as Ben clung to her. Soon both kids were asleep, and Colby and I were lying next to one another, staring up at the dimmed lights, sandwiched between the kids.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” Colby whispered, reading my mind as I tried to fight back the tears that were always threatening, along with the tight feeling in my throat that refused to go away.
I knew the minute I grieved, it would make this real.
For weeks now I’d almost made myself believe that Monica and Brooks would walk back through that door. For once I wanted to be more like Colby, believing that we’d see them again someday, that there was a place for good people in the afterlife, and that they were together watching over us.
Finally I cleared my throat and answered, “I know.”
“I miss them.”
I didn’t trust my voice, so instead of telling her I missed them too, I inched my hand across the duvet and grasped her fingertips.
She squeezed my hand back and held it until her breathing became heavy. I turned then, stealing a glance at this all-over-the-place woman who loved these kids with the same ferocity I did.
Colby was frowning in her sleep, her lips slightly parted as if even in her sleep she was ready to talk my ear off or argue. She made a funny noise and then let out a snore, ruining the moment, or maybe just making it more real.
This was my reality now.
Two kids.
A house in the suburbs.
And a confusing, chaotic woman whom I argued with daily. I almost laughed when I realized that was how the majority of people would describe marriage after ten years.
We’d just skipped a few steps, hadn’t we?
ELEVEN
Colby
The kids were sick for two straight days, so instead of going into the office and working, I stayed home and helped Rip. Both of us were so exhausted by Friday that we weren’t even arguing with each other anymore. We were just ships passing in the night, our only focus getting the kids better. We’d tuck them in their beds and then crawl into our own, only to find that kids are creatures of habit—which meant we’d been all four of us sleeping in the same bed for three straight nights.
I’d been sleeping in the smallest guest room after Rip had chosen the biggest one for himself, of course. And now… now the kids wanted us all together.
The new sleeping arrangements meant I’d been sleeping next to Rip for the last few nights. At first I’d tried to inch away from him, and then I’d realized that no matter how hard I tried to do just that, I always woke up with my face plastered against his neck, sometimes with drool coming out of my mouth.
This morning he just looked at his wet shoulder, then back up at me, then went back to sleep.
Exhaustion apparently made him less fastidious, like he didn’t even have the energy to tell me to move or stop slobbering on him.
When Friday morning came, the kids’ fevers had been gone for twenty-four hours and they were finally looking like themselves again. As much as I didn’t want to leave them, I was excited to get back to the office and finish my next post, about Edinburgh. I was writing about all the best places to eat in Scotland, and I couldn’t wait to dive into the research I hadn’t been able to do when I’d been there two years before. I’d had another trip planned before the accident, but I’d had to cancel it, of course, and I honestly hadn’t thought about it since.
All my thoughts these days were centered on the kids. And trying to figure out how the hell I was supposed to learn to be a mother overnight.
And getting along with Rip so we didn’t add any more trauma to these already-traumatized kids.
“Don’t forget that Ben has his jujitsu match today at four.” I choked down the rest of my coffee, then groaned when I looked down and noticed that I’d spilled on the white wrap dress I was wearing.
Rip sighed. “Do you have a calm bone in your body?”
“No.” I shrugged. “Not really.” I grabbed his keys again.
“Wait.” He rushed past Viera, who was already coloring her soon-to-be masterpiece. It looked like two demons haunting a smiley face, but she’d very proudly announced she was drawing us. It was low-key terrifying. “Aren’t you going to change?”