Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 115737 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115737 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
Jack’s smile is now sad, and he takes my hand from his neck, pulling it to his mouth and kissing my knuckles. ‘She lashes out.’ He looks so unaffected by it, and that’s the worst thing of all. It’s normal to him. This big, strapping man. I get a sudden vivid recollection of me swinging at him last night in my drunken state, and how angry he was. Ashamed of myself, I vow here and now to never let that happen again, no matter how frustrated I am. ‘Why didn’t you say anything?’ I ask.
‘Because when I’m with you, I’m free, Annie. I’m not tearing myself up inside wondering what the fuck went wrong with my marriage and why Stephanie is the way she is. I’m not obsessing about blame and where it falls. And I’m not trapped and miserable. I’m me again.’
My welling eyes fall from his handsome face. ‘Why do you allow it?’
‘What am I going to do? Hit her back? I’d kill her with one punch.’
‘Leave her,’ I whisper, my throat ragged and broken. The thought of her physically hurting him tears me up inside, no matter how capable he is. No matter how big and strong. He just has to accept it? ‘Just leave her.’ Tears build in my eyes, and Jack rolls into my side, propping himself up on an elbow.
He tenderly wipes them away, bringing his face down to mine. ‘Don’t cry for me.’
His gentle order has the reverse effect, and I start to sob, my face turning and hiding in his neck. How can he be so accepting of this? The thought of someone physically hurting him destroys me inside.
Jack forces me out, putting his body on top of mine, getting nose to nose with me. ‘She doesn’t hurt me, Annie. The only person in this world who can hurt me is you. Do you hear what I’m saying to you? I’m untouchable if I have you.’ He starts to dot light kisses all over my wet face, wiping away the tears with his mouth.
‘You have to leave her.’ I reach over his shoulders and hold him to me, like I can protect him from her. Take him away from his nightmare.
‘Trust me. When I can, I will.’ He lifts his head and gazes down at me, brushing my hair from my wet face. ‘You’ve given me a purpose. A real reason to get out. My own happiness wasn’t enough to leave. It just wasn’t worth the pain and backlash. Your happiness is enough, and I know I can make you happy. Just like I know how happy I can be with you.’
His spew of words hits me hard. Every single one of them. He doesn’t just need to leave her, he wants to. For me. When he can, he will. ‘When will the time be right?’ I ask on a mere whisper, starting to grow concerned by what this really means. It means people will know. It means she’ll know.
‘I don’t know.’ He gives me sorry eyes. ‘A few weeks ago, before I met you, I’d have said never. Now, I will make sure I find the right time. But I have to tread carefully. And you have to trust me to do this the best way. Please, just give me time.’
What I should do now is walk away. Let him sort out that part of his life before I even think to continue this. That’s what I should do. It doesn’t mean that I can. ‘Are you telling me you’re going to leave your wife?’ I ask again, if only for clarification. If only to hear him say it again.
‘Yes,’ he answers without a second’s hesitation. ‘I need to get out for my own sanity and health. I’m leaving her because I need there to be life left in me, life that I want to give to you. There’s something still alive inside of me, Annie, and you’ve found it.’
I pull him down and cuddle him. I wanted him before I knew I couldn’t have him. My want has only multiplied by a million since then, no matter how much guilt tries to mask it. I’ve never wanted something so badly that I’ll willingly sacrifice my integrity to have it. I would never demand he leave his wife. That’s his move to make when he thinks it’s best to make it. In the meantime, I get some of him. I need some of him. Even if it’s just for my own sanity. Nothing with Jack isn’t an option.
‘I’ll take whatever you can give me for now.’ It pains me to say it, but it’s the truth. I have to finally face the fact that I’m falling for a married man. I’ve tried to run away and got nowhere. Not only because Jack won’t let me, but because my heart won’t either. He’s asked me for time, and though I know most people will think I’m certifiably mad, I’m willing to give it to him, because he’s worth the wait. I trust him. I don’t want to make his life any more difficult than it already is.