Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 115737 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115737 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
‘It doesn’t work,’ he says quietly. ‘I’ve tried it.’
I start to shake my head, my cheeks becoming wet with tears of frustration.
‘Nothing works, Annie. Not shaking my head, not distracting myself, nothing.’
‘Stop it,’ I whimper pathetically.
‘I can’t stop,’ he hisses, taking a step towards me. ‘It was bad enough having you constantly up here.’ He taps his temple aggressively, his face twisting. ‘Now you’re actually fucking here. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep.’
He takes another step towards me and I retreat again, trying my hardest to keep the distance between us. Being this close to him is dangerous. It’s screwing with my resolve, eating through my conscience.
‘You’re married,’ I grate, furious with him. So furious! ‘I made a horrible mistake. Get out of my flat.’
He just stares at me for a few moments, and I can tell he’s assessing my mental state. He’s trying to find that one little chink in my armour, any way in. I won’t give it to him. Not again.
‘I said, get out,’ I repeat, certain and strong. ‘I never want to see you again.’
‘Colin’s—’
‘I’m giving up the project.’
Jack backs away, his face a picture of hurt, maybe even devastation, but I refuse to let it dent my resolve. I make sure my expression remains determined, watching as his jaw goes so tight it could possibly crack.
‘You want that?’ he asks.
‘I don’t see any other way.’
‘I do.’ Jack’s face is suddenly determined. ‘You’re right. I can’t look at you every day and know you’re lying to yourself. And to me.’ He tugs his jeans up his legs and shoves his feet into his boots, all angrily. ‘But you’re not giving up. This project means too much to you, and I’m not going to be the reason you walk away from it.’
I withdraw, moving back. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘I’ll be off the job by tomorrow evening.’ He turns and walks out, pulling his T-shirt on as he goes, and a few seconds later I hear the front door slam with brutal force.
My breathing becomes shallow and strained, my throat clogging up. What just happened? He’s resigned. Jack’s solved my problem for me. I’ll never see him again. I’ll carry on with my life as if I never met him. It’s for the best. I know it’s for the best. I can’t go on like this. I’m caught in limbo, desolate without him, desolate with him. I feel like I’m yo-yoing between strength and shakiness, never knowing which way to turn. I’m never going to see him again. Hear him. Feel him.
Those thoughts make my knees give, and I crumple to the floor into a heap of grief. I’ll never see him again. My eyes well up, blurring my surroundings. My whole world blurs too. I’ll never see him again. Never feel him, hear him, smell him. My shallow breathing virtually diminishes to nothing, my sobs now racking my folded body.
I know this is for the best. So why does it feel like I’m slowly dying?
He’s walked away so I don’t have to. Because he knows what this project means to me. I drag myself up from the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.
I don’t know what I’m doing, but everything is telling me to do it. I stagger to the door, my vision distorted through my teary eyes, and throw myself out onto the street. I frantically search for his car and spot him down the road getting into his Audi. ‘Jack!’ I scream, and he looks up, holding the top of his door. I stand where I am in a T-shirt and nothing else, my feet bare, my face undoubtedly a tear-stained wreck. ‘I don’t want you to,’ I sob, breaking down completely. ‘I don’t want you to go.’
He slams his car door and runs towards me, worry written all over his face. He just catches me before my body gives, scooping me up into his arms and squeezing me to his chest. My arms hold him so tightly, my heart telling me this is right. Me and him. It’s so right.
‘It doesn’t have to be this hard,’ he whispers, walking up the steps and into my hallway, shutting the door behind him. Detaching me from his body, he brings his hand to my face, and when the heat of his touch meets my cheek, the warmth spreads throughout me. Those powerful, consuming feelings take hold. Just one touch. He brings his face close to mine, his other hand settling on my hip as we stare into each other’s eyes. I see so much pain behind his mesmerising grey gaze. And so much life.
‘Don’t make me give you up, Annie,’ he murmurs quietly, his voice broken with emotion.
My throat clogs, my eyes refilling with hopeless tears. ‘I have no fight left in me.’
‘Good, because I’m fucking exhausted battling with you.’ He dips his head and claims my mouth gently, sensing my fragile state, his hand sliding into my hair and fisting, holding me in place.