Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 57201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
“Jake…” I manage to get out, but I don't say anything else.
What am I supposed to say?
CHAPTER 7
Jake
When I told Mom I would take Lennon home, I was clearly insane. I thought we could talk about things like two adults. I thought I was calm enough to do that. Seeing Katie makes everything feel raw inside of me again. I know I need to tap it down and handle this like an adult. The only thing that matters now is Lennon, but that’s so fucking hard. I see her and I want to lash out. I look at her and I remember. There’s anger and regret warring with one another inside of me, and I have to choke it down to even get words out.
“I shouldn’t have threatened you before, Katie. That was wrong.”
Fuck those words are hard.
I see surprise light in her eyes. She doesn’t relax. In fact, I’m not sure she truly believes me. I don’t really care.
“Okay,” she hedges, wringing her hands together.
“You look tired.”
She gives out a bitter snort and shakes her head. “That happens when your world is turned upside down.”
“I’m familiar with that myself,” I remind her. She stops talking, and I can see my message made it through.
“Jake—”
“Mommy! I’m ready for my story!”
“Listen, Jake, I need to—”
“I was hoping we could talk. I think there’s some stuff we should go over.”
“Jake, I know you’re upset. I get it. I’m upset, too. The thing is, tomorrow is my last full day with Lennon before school starts, and I really don’t want to spend it fighting with you. I’m going to take him school shopping and for dinner, and I’d rather do that, enjoying being with him, and not pretending I didn’t just have a huge fight with his father.”
“That sounds so strange,” I murmur without thought.
“What does?” Katie asks, her forehead crinkling in that cute way that it always does when she’s confused and preoccupied. I used to joke and tell her it would cause her to have way too many wrinkles when we got old if she didn’t watch it…
And then I would kiss them away.
“Hearing someone say I’m Lennon’s father to my face. It hasn’t happened before. Well, at least in passing.”
“Listen—”
“I wasn’t saying that to hurt you, Katie. It's just… I liked the way it sounded.”
“Mommy—”
“Jake, I—”
“Go see to our son. What if I wait for you and we talk after? I promise I’m not here to fight. Believe it or not, I don’t want Lennon to hear that either.”
She studies me for a second and then steps back to allow me to come inside. I walk in, wondering what in the hell I’m doing. Yet, I already know why I’m doing this.
I’m going on instinct and trying to listen to the pain in my mother’s voice. We’re all to blame—all of us.
All except Lennon.
I can’t get seven years back, but Katie and my family aren’t solely the reason I lost out on those years. No, that guilt rests on my shoulders too. I’m hurting, but I realize the pain and hurt I dealt Katie all those years ago must have been worse—even if I wasn’t aware of it.
“Have a seat. I can’t promise this won't take a while. Lennon hates going to sleep, and I usually give him his vitamins and melatonin before now.”
“Melatonin?” I question, instantly worried about my son.
My. Son.
Fuck.
“It’s all natural. It just helps him to relax a little. He gets sleepy. He just fights it like hell,” she explains, and I find myself grinning.
“That sounds like you. You used to be wide awake at two in the morning. I swear, I think you used to drink caffeine just so you wouldn’t get tired. You were such a night owl.”
“Yeah, well, not anymore. These days, I’m asleep the minute my head hits the pillow. I’ll be back. There’s water in the fridge. Jeff might have left some beers in there, not sure. If he did, they’re in the back of the bottom drawer.”
I watch her walk away and realize that despite the anger still inside me, this is the first time I’ve been comfortable with Katie in a long time—or at least I was until she mentioned my fucking brother.
I may agree to shoulder my part of the blame and I’m even willing to work through my anger with Katie and my mom.
But Jeff?
That bastard can rot in hell. The way I feel about him right now, I’d be willing to send him there myself.
The hate that I feel toward him isn’t something I’m going to be able to work through.
That relationship is gone.
And I don’t even give a fuck.
CHAPTER 8
Katie
“Why does the princess always need saving, Mommy? Is it ‘cause she’s a girl?” Lennon asks as we finish up the story of Snow White, which for some reason has been his favorite for a while. I’m not complaining. Before that, it was a PJ Masks’ book that drove me insane.