Total pages in book: 157
Estimated words: 150968 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 150968 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
Time slows.
“Riley! Riley, get a hold of yourself!”
Through a blur of faces, I see my mother staring at me. Her expression is shocked and disturbed, embarrassed.
Poised and confident. Calm, cool and collected — I am none of those.
That’s the last thought in my head before my stomach cramps so terribly, I hunch over. A pained sound escapes my lips, and then I’m retching all over my father’s shiny shoes.
Once the damn breaks, it doesn’t stop.
I can’t stop.
I’m sobbing. My mother is screeching in disgrace. I hear my father swearing.
The rose-tinted glass that has surrounded me since I was a child shatters. Inside, I am just a broken, hideous girl. I can’t hide behind the illusion that was Riley Johnson anymore.
Everyone sees the disastrous truth.
They see me.
Ugly and ruined. Completely wrecked.
My knees weaken and I fall to the ground, before my eyes roll back in my skull and the world goes black.
Complete, utter darkness surrounds me, dragging me into the abyss that’s been calling me for a long time now, but I’ve been fighting so hard against it.
I lost the battle.
I died in the war, my body disintegrating into nothingness.
And then…
Silence.
The next time I wake up, I hear voices around me. Familiar ones. My father and mother are arguing. I keep my eyes closed, barely hiding my wince as my head throbs painfully. It feels like I’ve been hit with a truck.
The memories of tonight assault me from all sides.
I still smell like vomit, and my mouth tastes bitter.
“How did you not know about this?” My father questions, his tone filled with accusations.
“You didn’t know either! Oh God, I can already see the subject of the tabloids tomorrow. This is going to be all over social media. You won’t be able to stop this or keep it hush, hush.”
My father growls and then I hear a glass shattering. “The public humiliation I had to face because of this stupid girl.”
“What are we going to do now?” My mother mutters. I sense her pacing back and forth, and I can almost imagine her wringing her hands in tension.
“I don’t want her anywhere near us. She needs to be gone. She’s sick!”
He wants me gone? What…does that mean?
Fear propels me to sit up, and dizziness swamps me. My father notices that I am awake, and his eyes — oh his eyes are dark and livid.
I lick my dry lips. “I’m sorry.” My voice is barely a whisper, but they hear it.
They hear it, except they don’t care.
My heart thumps in my chest when I try to speak again. My body is weak, broken under the traumatic events of tonight, but I keep my spine straight. “I can get help. There’s a therapist I researched—
“Pack your bags,” my father says roughly, cutting me off, “you’re leaving tonight.”
My lungs squeeze, painfully. “W-what do you m-mean?” I stammer helplessly. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m sending you to a rehab place I know.”
Rehab?
My eyes widen, and I scramble to my feet. “Wait, but what about school? I can’t just leave.”
I know I need help…
I’ve always known, but somehow, I chose to stay quiet, chose to stay willfully blind. Because it was easier that way. Better.
It was the illusion I created around me.
My father stalks over to me, and his hand comes up. He grips my face, his fingers digging into my flesh. “Do you realize what you did tonight? Do you realize the mess you’ve left behind for me to clean up? Do you really think I’ll let you stay here after the disgusting chaos you caused tonight?”
“It’s not my fault,” I cry out brokenly. “J-Jasper, he tried to—"
My father backhands me so hard, my head spins, and I gasp, my breath stuttering in my throat. “Shut up,” he roars, his spittle landing on my face. “I am done with your constant excuses. Always blaming someone else for your stupid, stupid mistakes.”
He pushes me away from him, and my body crumples to the ground. “Please… please, don’t force me to leave.”
I can’t go to rehab.
I can’t go to a place I’m not familiar with. Just the thought of it fills me with extreme anxiety and I can’t breathe, can’t think straight.
I just…can’t.
“Why do I need to go to rehab? We can find a therapist here. I don’t need to leave school; I don’t need to leave home.” — the only place I’ve known all my life. Even though it’s a tomb, it’s the only place I belong, right?
I grab onto his ankle, sobbing helplessly. “Please, Daddy,” I beg, leaving my bleeding heart at his feet. “Don’t force me to leave. Please. I can’t go. I can’t…please.”
If I go, I’ll lose whatever is left of my sanity.
My father squats down, so we’re at eye level. There’s no remorse, not an ounce of emotion on his face, except anger and disgust. “Listen to me carefully, Riley. You ruined my reputation tonight and you will fix it. This is how you’re going to fix it. I’m putting you in the best, most expensive rehab in the country. You will stay there, until things calm down. Until the rumors die down and until whatever you did tonight is forgotten. We will tell the world that you’re getting the help you need, and they will be satisfied with that. And you and your anorexic self will stay out of my sight. Understood?”