Total pages in book: 157
Estimated words: 150968 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 150968 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
I’m fighting to survive in this shithole. Only because my father won’t allow me to leave and go to another school. He says I either continue at Berkshire or I dropout. But he won’t accept a dropout as a daughter, so here I am.
He says a Johnson never cowers, never runs away, and never fails.
But this Johnson is.
Riley Johnson is everything but respected now.
I still remember the day when I told my father about Jasper’s betrayal.
“He deleted the photos and videos, and that’s it? No consequences?” I question incredulously. “He shared them publicly without my consent. He took them without consent. He should be facing some kind of repercussions. This is not okay!”
My father’s eyes darken. “You want me to file a case against the Chief of Police’s son? You’re more delusional than I thought, Riley. Do you realize how much power Jasper and his father have? I refuse to become an enemy of Matthew Baker because of you. I’ve spoken with him and Jakob both. Matthew promised his son will delete the photos and videos he took of you. And it’s done. There’s no need for us to keep going back and forth with them.”
“But my reputation—
“Wouldn’t have been tarnished if you hadn’t whored yourself out in the first place!” my father roars.
I flinch, taken aback by his unmasked fury. Why is he angry at me?
I didn’t…do anything. My heart thumps in my chest, and pain grips my stomach, revolting, and I strain against it.
“I didn’t whore myself out,” I whisper, both hurt and confused. “You told me to please Jasper, to keep him happy and interested in me.”
Please Jasper, to please my father.
Keep him happy, to keep my father happy.
My father gets right into my face and I lean back against the chair, trying to put some space between us. But he doesn’t allow me that reprieve. His hand holds my face, his fingers digging into my cheeks, so painfully, I have to blink back tears. The backs of my eyes burn, and my flesh, where his nails are digging into, stings heavily.
“Are you suggesting that I forced you to become a slut for Jasper?” he hisses menacingly, his spittle landing on my face. “You did this to yourself, Riley. You irresponsible, little bitch. You tarnished your own reputation, and with it, you tainted mine too. Jasper doesn’t have to bear the consequences of this. You have. And you will.”
He releases my face roughly, and my head snaps back. Sniffling, I look down at my lap.
Is this what my father thinks of me?
A whore…?
Someone this unworthy?
Defeated, I close my eyes as the sound of his footsteps drift away and I am left alone, sitting in this dark, cold house.
People say that your house and your family are the place you feel the safest, where you belong. The place where you run to, to hide from the storm, to survive the hurricane.
But this is not a home.
It’s a tomb — a sophisticated, glamorized tomb that keeps up the illusion. But it’s a grave, nonetheless. And I’ve merely been rendered to a living corpse, waiting to be buried under this cursed land.
“Oh, look who’s hiding in the bathroom. Smelly, slimy Riley.”
Mocking voices snap me out of my drifting thoughts. Jenny and her circle of mean girls join me in the bathroom. Great, as if them tripping me earlier and having me spill my Bolognese spaghetti all over my uniform was not enough. Not that I was going to eat it, anyway. I don't have lunch at school. I never eat in front of anyone.
They think I eat.
But I’ve mastered the act of faking it.
When my photos and videos were leaked by Jakob, we only had a month left of Sophomore year. So, while the rumors spread like wildfire, the bullying wasn’t that bad. I was able to avoid it as much as I could. Anyway, I still had Elaine and Blythe on my side then.
And when summer came, I hid away. In my bedroom, surviving within my four walls.
If I wasn’t at home, my mother was dragging me to whatever modeling gig she could get her hands on or she was able to get me some random cameo roles in TV shows.
My summer was busy and away from Berkshire’s bullies. Everything was almost tranquil for a short period of time.
Except, that didn’t last long.
We had to return to school again and that’s when the real bullying began. The name-calling, more rumors — all of them fake, were spread, and then what started as verbal soon transcended into physical. My pinky still throbs with a phantom pain, a reminder of how it was fractured. The cast was removed two weeks ago.
After a while, it wasn’t just the students. The faculty of Berkshire Academy turned on me too. And that’s when I learned that once the number of bullies becomes large enough, it’s easy for the faculty to blame the victim both for psychological and practical reasons.