Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 95816 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 479(@200wpm)___ 383(@250wpm)___ 319(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95816 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 479(@200wpm)___ 383(@250wpm)___ 319(@300wpm)
But this—this felt intensely personal, and I was lost. Unable to articulate my feelings or try to share them. I was adrift in a sea of doubt and worry.
“Are you still angry at me?” I asked, unable to turn around and look into her eyes. Katy had been patient, supportive, and far too quiet the past week. I had seen the shadows in her eyes when she thought I wasn’t looking. We had both put on brave faces for Gracie and all the other younger adults who had no clue what had occurred, but we had also avoided the Hub and spending a lot of time with those who did know, somehow bracing ourselves in silence for the news we’d received today. I knew once we told them, they would rally and offer help, but there was little they would be able to do. And that conversation was nothing compared to the one I had to have with my children.
“No, I’m not angry,” Katy replied.
I spun on my heels, meeting her gaze. “Disappointed?” I dreaded that more than anything.
She held out her hand, and I strode forward and took it. She pulled me down beside her. “Richard, you didn’t know. If Juliet had told you and you pushed her away and refused to help her, I would have been, but that wasn’t the case. So, not disappointed.”
“But you are worried. About the reaction of our children.”
She sighed. “Yes. I think some will have a more difficult time with it than others. But the bottom line, we have to tell them. They have to know.” She frowned. “And you have to prepare yourself for their reactions, Richard. Each one will be different, and you have to let them feel what they feel. We have to present a united front to them and help them.”
“Are we united?” I asked, doubt still tugging at me. Fear of losing the woman beside me seemed to have taken hold in my chest and wouldn’t let go. “I can’t do this without you, Katy.”
“We are forever united, my darling. I promised until death do us part, and I meant it. I love you—that hasn’t and won’t change. But the next while is going to be rocky. I’m afraid the restful retirement you had planned is going to be a bit different.”
“I know.”
“But we’ll take it a step at a time. And I’ll be right there with you.”
I lifted her hand and kissed the palm, pressing it to my face. “Thank you.”
“Just…” She trailed off and swallowed.
“Just what, sweetheart? Say it.”
“Just don’t pursue this child and forget about your other ones. You’ve been so wrapped up in the test results and worry, you barely spent any time with Gracie or Kylie this week. Gracie noticed and was upset. You have to find a balance. You can’t force a relationship with Ashley or become so intent on it that you hurt our other children.”
I stared at her, horrified. “I didn’t mean to. I’ve just been so deep in my head—”
She cut me off. “I know. The what-ifs were driving me crazy too. But you know now. And Ashley said she would be in touch. Give her time. Reconnect with your life here. You need that to face the future.”
“I dread telling them. Seeing their reaction.”
“I know you do, but you have to do it. You have to be the one to tell them before they find out in some other fashion. As shocking as this news may be to you, my darling, your children are aware you have a past and aren’t perfect.”
Her words brought a smile to my face. “I know.”
“Then give them some credit.”
I nodded. “Should I wait until Heather is back?”
“You should tell Gracie soon. She knows something is wrong. I don’t want her more upset than she has to be with her being pregnant.”
“All right. I’ll tell her first. I’ll get the other three on the computer and tell them.” I scrubbed my face. “Jesus, I think I feel ill.”
“This isn’t the end of the world, Richard. It’s another person to add into the family if that is what she wants. Someone else to love. You need to stop thinking of her as destroying your life and think about what could happen. The girls get another sister. The boys get someone else to tease. You get someone else to fuss over.”
“And what do you get?”
“Another small piece of you to love. I want to welcome her if she’ll allow it. Let her know she’s not as alone as she thinks she is. I look forward to sharing our history, hearing hers. Finding common ground.”
I stared at her in amazement. “How did you get so wise? So amazing?”
She lifted her shoulders. “Always have been. You just forget sometimes.”
I wrapped my arms around her. “I love you, Katy VanRyan.”