Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 95816 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 479(@200wpm)___ 383(@250wpm)___ 319(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95816 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 479(@200wpm)___ 383(@250wpm)___ 319(@300wpm)
It hadn’t worked.
I had picked at my dinner, then switched on the fireplace, and we had sat in silence, Katy knowing I needed to work through things in my head before talking.
Except, this time, I couldn’t figure the situation out.
“Ashley is my daughter,” I said out loud, the words sounding strange when spoken. “I have another child, who isn’t a child, but an adult.”
“Yes.”
“And she hates me. Jesus, does she hate me.”
“I don’t think she actually hates you, Richard.”
I met my wife’s calm blue gaze. “It certainly feels like it. You could practically see the animosity rolling off her in Halton’s office today.”
She slipped her hand into mine and entwined our fingers. As usual, her touch calmed me, and I squeezed her hand in silent thanks.
“She’s reacting to the only truth she knows, my darling. She thinks you abandoned her.”
“But I didn’t know…” I trailed off as she shook her head.
“You know that. I know that. Her mother told her otherwise. All her life, she heard what a bastard you were. And the way she found out you were her father?” She shook her head. “Those damn shirts of yours. I always knew they’d be trouble,” she teased, trying to get me to smile.
My lips quirked. Katy had always thought my monogrammed shirts were over the top. She was right, but I loved them. Maddox had his signature style of vests, ties, and socks. I had mine—monogrammed cuffs.
“It threw the girl, Richard,” she continued. “She’s upset and emotional. Shocked. I’m certain the last thing she expected coming to meet Luc’s ‘family’ was to run into you. To realize the man in front of her was the father she thought deserted her.”
“I know that. But what am I supposed to do? How do I make her believe me that I didn’t know Juliet was pregnant?”
She was silent for a moment. “What do you want from her, Richard? What are your expectations?”
“Expectations?” I repeated. “I have none.”
“You must,” she insisted. “You must have some idea what sort of relationship you want with her.”
“I would simply like to make her not hate me.”
“No, there has to be more. What do you see in the future? Coffee dates? Her joining us for dinner? Being part of the family? Or a Christmas card every year and the occasional phone call?”
I ran my hand through my hair. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead, Katy.” I was quiet for a moment. “I can’t imagine knowing she’s out there and not having some sort of relationship with her,” I admitted. “What sort, I don’t know. But…” I trailed off, shutting my eyes. “Shit, this is hard.”
“Why?” she asked quietly.
I turned to her, sliding closer. “Because what I say could hurt you. What I want could hurt my kids. What I hope may never come to pass.”
She smiled sadly. “Maybe you have to take that chance, Richard. Say it. Tell me.”
“I want to get to know her if she’ll let me. I would like to introduce her to our children as their half-sibling if she allows it. Maybe if she can’t have a relationship with me, she can forge one with them. She and Heather are already friends.” I took both of Katy’s hands in mine. “I know I can’t be her Dad—not the way I’m Gracie’s Dad, but maybe if she would permit it, I could be her friend—at least to start. From what she said, she had a solitary upbringing. Maybe we could help make her present life a little less lonely.”
I drew in a deep breath. “What I fear is that she’ll want nothing to do with me. With us. Thinking of a child—a small piece of me—out in this world, and not knowing her, upsets me. No matter how old she is.”
Katy was quiet.
“How do you feel about this, Katy?”
“I’m worried on many levels. I’m worried about our children’s reactions. I’m worried about what this will do to our family dynamic.”
“It may do nothing if she refuses to have anything to do with me.”
She shook her head. “It’s more complex than that, Richard. She’s with Luc. He’s in love with her, and from what I’ve seen, it’s pretty serious. There’s a chance we’ll lose him as well.”
“Shit,” I muttered. “You’re right. Reed will be upset.”
“We all would be. Everyone is fond of him. He’s been part of our extended family for many years—even if we don’t see him as often as the other kids, there would be a hole.”
I stood and walked to the window, looking out on the various houses dotted around the landscape of the community we had built. All connected by one common thing—love. When Katy and I married, it was only the two of us. Graham and Laura took us into their family, but it wasn’t until I met Maddox and the other men of BAM that I found my place. My friendship with Maddox was one of the most important in my life. They had become our family, and we’d shared so many things over the years of our friendship. Lots of laughter. Buckets of tears. Hopes, fears, advice. When our kids were small, we constantly shared funny moments, worries, and much-needed wisdom. I could always depend on them for backup.