Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 97337 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97337 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
We stayed on the phone for an hour before I noticed the time and told her I’d see her soon. It was only after we hung up that I realized that though she was older and in the position of authority it seemed more and more that I was the one taking the lead, something I didn’t mind at all.
Not once did my mind go to any taboos or stigmas associated with the teacher student love affair, and I had a feeling it was the same with her. In fact, from what little I’d learned about these situations it looks like the teacher was always the aggressor.
Maybe that’s why I’m so protective of her, because I know people would claim that she should’ve known better since she’s the ‘adult’. They’ll forget all my other achievements as soon as sex becomes involved and start acting like I’m an innocent lamb, led astray by the temptress.
So that’s the reason I’m trying to hold out until after the class is over at least. So there’s no conflict of interest, one less thing to be used against her if we’re unlucky enough to get caught.
But I have a gut feeling that that shit’s not going to happen. Because the more time I spend with her the harder it’s becoming to wait, and the more my feelings for her are beginning to change.
I’m not sure what my original intentions were. The attraction was almost instantaneous sure, but it’s not like that’s the first time I’ve ever been attracted to a female. It’s just that as time goes by things keep changing up on me, and I find myself acting in ways I never have with anyone else. Feeling things I never expected.
Take tonight for example. Without the danger of discovery and me not there beside her, she’d been more forthcoming on the phone. And the more she opened up to me, the more I wanted from her.
The thing I find weird, that has me lying awake now, almost an hour after hanging up with her, is that the more I learn about her life, the more tender I feel towards her. Something that may have sent me running hard in the other direction had she been anyone else.
She has no family, no one else in the world, but me. I’ve come to realize that she’s not someone I can fuck for a few weeks or months and then just walk away. So no matter what my first intentions were, that’s all been changed. I no longer wish to number her among all the others I’d had before.
I think she’s girlfriend material, something that can make things very sticky, more so for her than for me. But even taking into consideration the danger this could pose for her, I knew there was no way to stop now, not for me anyway.
The next day I was tempted to swing by the elementary school where she taught but could find no valid reason to, so I had to ditch the idea. All through lunch and recess I kept thinking about the dream I’d had the night before.
A dream that had seemed so real I’d awakened expecting to find her in bed beside me, only to feel that bitter disappointment when she wasn’t. The ache that followed me out of bed was very telling.
“Dude, why are you so stressed about SATs? You know you’re gonna ace that shit.” Carter bumped my shoulder with his as he sat next to me in the cafeteria.
It took me a minute to understand what the hell he was talking about until I remembered that that’s the excuse I’ve been using for the past couple of weeks for my behavior.
“In my head I know that, but this shit is important, it’s like the bridge to my future.”
“You’re full of shit. You know you’ve already got it made whether you pass or not. But you’re gonna do fine.” He put his arm around my shoulders and I felt like a fraud.
Of everyone here he can be considered my closest friend. To me it says a lot that I’m protecting her even from him. It’s things like this that tells me that what she means to me is something more than I’d ever known before.
Liz
It’s time to get up Elizabeth, you’re going to be late. This must be the third or fourth time I’ve said this to myself and a first for me. But I couldn’t seem to make myself roll out of bed this morning.
After dealing with Robert’s nuisance phone calls at night there was a call of a different kind that had kept me up the night before. I felt like a giddy teenager and somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered if that was the lure. If I was feeling this way because I’d never had a teenage romance and had missed out on all the hoopla.