Total pages in book: 57
Estimated words: 54287 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 271(@200wpm)___ 217(@250wpm)___ 181(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 54287 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 271(@200wpm)___ 217(@250wpm)___ 181(@300wpm)
Dr. Kline interrupts me. “You just have to take it one day at a time, Davis.”
I know she’s right, but that’s not what I want to hear. I want her to tell me I’m cured and that I can live a normal life—well, as normal as possible. But I know she can’t do that. I may never be able to live a normal life. There’s always going to be a shadow hanging over me, making me wonder if I’ll fall back into my addiction and let it completely suck me in this time until there’s no hope. I tense up just thinking about it.
Finally, the men and Rachel all lift their heads and look up at me. We’re all fighting our own demons, but I know every man—and woman—in here can relate to how I’m feeling right now.
Dr. Kline takes her glasses off and holds them in her hand. “Davis, I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it’s good that you feel this way. Those feelings—of letting someone you care about down, worrying about them more than yourself—those are not bad things to feel. But you have to let them work for you. Take those feelings and let them push you forward. Imagine the life you want and make it happen for yourself.”
I blink at her, unable to hold back the question. “What if I…”
I can’t finish it though because this is probably what scares me the most.
Dr. Kline puts her glasses back on and tilts her head at me. “What if you fail? Is that what you were going to ask?”
I nod, unable to put my voice to the words.
She moves to the edge of her seat. “How are you feeling, Davis? Really.”
I shrug. “I still have pain in my upper leg, and it’s a son of a bitch wearing the prosthetic. I’ll think about how the medication will take the pain away, but then I’ll think about the year of my life I wasted. How I was alone… I had no one…. And I know I don’t want to go back there.”
Dr. Kline nods her head with a smile on her face. It’s obvious she’s pleased by what I said because she smiles, pointing at me. “And that right there is how you know you’re not going to fail, Davis. Just in the month you’ve been here, I’ve seen a change in you, and now that you’re letting loved ones in, that’s just a step in the right direction. Don’t lose sight of what you want and the things—and people—that are important to you. Lean on them… let them lean on you. You’re strong enough to handle a lot more than you think you are. I know it. You just have to let yourself believe it.”
I suck in a breath, and my body shudders as I let it out. It feels good. Everything she said just feels right.
When I nod my head at her, she moves on around the room. As everyone takes their turn, excitement fills me.
As soon as group therapy is over, I go out to my car and drive across town before I can talk myself out of it.
School doesn’t get out for another hour, but I’m hoping to talk to Brenda and Rick before Abby and Alexis get there.
As soon as I pull into the driveway, I’m out of the car. I probably should have called or something before coming over earlier than expected, but I have to get this out. Of all people, I need to be honest with them, and if they turn me away, it will kill me, but I’ll understand.
I knock on the door and take a step back. I swear I don’t let out a breath until the door opens and Brenda smiles ear to ear, lets out a whoop, and practically knocks me over when she hugs me. She’s laughing, crying, and rambling all at the same time. “Oh, my boy, I’ve missed you. God only knows how much I missed you.”
I open my arms to her, and she wraps me in a hug. “Brenda, it’s so good to see you.”
She’s completely fussing over me and reaches up to pull on my long hair. “Look at you. I can’t believe you’re here. Abby said you were coming, and I’m making all your favorites for dinner.”
“Thank you,” I tell her dumbly. I know there’s so much I should be saying right now, but with her looking at me the way she is, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to break her heart. She’s going to be so disappointed in me. She and Rick both will be.
The front door opens again, and Rick is leaning against the frame. “Hey there, boy. It’s about time you came home.”
Brenda releases me, and I hold my hand out to Rick. He stumbles onto the porch with a cane in his hand, and instead of shaking my hand, he wraps me in a bear hug. He musses my hair like I’m a kid, even though I’m towering over him. “Come on in. Why you guys standing out here? Let him inside in the air conditioning, Brenda.”