Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 117506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 588(@200wpm)___ 470(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 588(@200wpm)___ 470(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
“Just because I’m carrying your child doesn’t change anything. I’ve never been the one you’ve wanted, Dirk. Never. First it was Kaci, and now it’s our unborn child. I’ve never fit into your equation, and I’m not going to try to now.”
I closed my eyes, and it was my turn to shake my head. The pain I felt in my chest was like nothing I had ever known, not even when my father died. I’d made Merit think she wasn’t the most important person in my life, when she was everything plus that. “That’s not true. Not one word of it is true.”
“It’s not?” she asked with a bitter laugh. “Because you may not remember, but I do. All the times you walked away from me when Kaci showed up. The broken plans because she needed you. The way you said her name when you…when you were with me.”
A sob slipped from her lips and she shook her head quickly as she wiped away her tears.
“God,” she cried out. “I’m so tired of being second to everything else when it comes to you. I can’t do it. I won’t do it anymore. I won’t! I have a child to think of now, and for once, I’m focused on something other than you.”
My chest had never felt so tight. A sickness rolled through me, and I nearly felt my legs give out on me. Holy shit. Had I made her feel like that?
“Second?” It was the only damn thing I could say. I hated myself more than I ever had before as I watched those tears fall.
“I know you don’t have romantic feelings for Kaylee, but that morning after the celebration for your dad’s life when we sat in this very kitchen, you were going to tell me something you regretted about that night. That night! What night? I literally held my breath and waited for you to finish. Was it regret over the first time we made love? Was it the night in your truck when we made this baby? What did you regret?
“Then your phone rang, and you looked at Kaylee’s name on the screen, and without a second thought you pushed me and my feelings aside again and took her call. Do you know how many times I’ve thought about what you were about to say? What did you regret? Taking my virginity? Saying Kaci’s name? Or maybe you regretted the second time we slept together. I nearly drove myself crazy because you never finished talking! You left me hanging to take Kaylee’s call. It was like all the times you left me for Kaci. I wanted to tell you about the baby that morning. But…I couldn’t. All I could do was run and get as far away from you as I could.”
“Merit.”
She kept talking, the words now flowing from her mouth in a rush. “Do you know what it was like to see you touch Kaylee’s stomach, and offer to build her crib, and look so happy for her, knowing I was the one carrying your baby…and that you had zero interest in being with me?”
She started to cry harder, and I went to her, but she put her hand up.
“No, don’t. Don’t you dare!” She frantically shook her head. “I’m not done. I need to get this all out. I had to sit there and watch you dote on Kaylee. Tell everyone what best friends you are, when I missed our friendship…” She gasped for air before she went on. “I missed our friendship so much at times that I could hardly breathe. Seeing you talk about her baby while I was the one carrying your child, it reminded me of all the times I had to listen to you talk about Kaci and how much you wanted her. Do you have any idea what that does to a woman?”
I squeezed my eyes shut and felt my own tears building. When she continued to speak, I looked at her again.
“I heard you tell Brock you didn’t want a relationship with me. And now you want to be with me because of a mistake you made. Do you hear what you say when you talk to me? I can only take so much, Dirk, before I break completely.”
I fisted my hands. “I didn’t mean any of that.”
“You said it, Dirk!” she shouted. “You said it, just like you said Kaci’s name. Like you chose Kaylee’s phone call over me.” Tears slipped down her face as she looked at the floor. “If you think it’s easy for me to tell you to go live the life you want, you’re crazy. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to say in my entire life. Even harder than when I walked away from you that night. I never thought anything could hurt me like that, until right this moment.”