Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 117506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 588(@200wpm)___ 470(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 588(@200wpm)___ 470(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
Dirk’s eyes moved from me to Janice. “Janice…Janice Lewis, right?”
Janice raised a single brow. “I’m impressed you remembered me.”
Dirk laughed. “You were on the cheerleading team with Merit and…”
His voice trailed off, and I knew he had been about to say Kaci’s name.
“Kaci?” Janice supplied for him. “I sure was.”
Dirk looked between the two of us, then focused back on Janice. “I heard you went to medical school.”
My pulse raced, and it felt like my throat was closing up. It was hard to breathe.
“I did. I have a practice here in town now.”
He nodded.
“Janice and I ran into each other and decided to have lunch,” I lied. Lord, that lie came off my lips way too easily. I needed to tell Dirk, and soon, because I honestly couldn’t stand lying to him. One look at Janice, and I felt even worse. She was frowning at me like a mother would, catching their child doing something naughty.
“Are you free after lunch, Merit? To talk?” Dirk asked me.
“To talk?” I asked, my voice sounding a bit off, even to me.
Janice slid out of the booth. “I was actually leaving, so please feel free to take my seat.”
I nearly shouted for Janice to sit back down. Instead, I pressed my lips closed tightly and watched as she grabbed the check.
“Lunch was on me. I’ll see you…um…soon. I’ll call you about that little matter we talked about.”
Not really knowing which matter she was referring to, I simply nodded and replied, “Okay, sounds good.”
“I didn’t mean to run you off, Janice,” Dirk said with that smile of his.
“No worries, Dirk, I need to get back to the office and catch up on some paperwork.”
As Janice started to leave, she looked back and gave me a reassuring smile and a nod.
Dirk sat down, and I frowned as the smell of alcohol came at me in a cloud. I turned and got a really good look at him.
“How much have you had to drink today?” I asked.
His head jerked back in surprise, and he laughed. “Wow. Okay, Mom.”
I looked down at my half-eaten lunch, and then out around the restaurant.
“I’m sorry, Merit. It’s been a rough few days,” Dirk said.
I met his eyes once more and I nodded. “Are you doing okay?”
“Honestly?”
“Yes, of course.”
He shook his head. “No, I’m not.”
Everything in me wanted to reach across the table and take his hand in mine, but I sat on them instead. “I’m sorry, Dirk. I called your mom this morning and asked if she needed anything. She said no.”
He nodded and then nervously looked around before he brought his attention back to me. “About the other day, when I said that to Brock—”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, cutting him off and attempting to laugh it away.
He cleared his throat. “It’s just, I’m feeling really lost right now and unsure of things. So many things.”
“What do you mean?”
My heart ached as I watched him. He looked so full of sadness, and there wasn’t anything I could do. Well, I could tell him about the baby, but I didn’t think that bit of news would bring him any joy. Only pressure him into feelings he wasn’t ready for.
“Everything has changed since…since Dad died. I don’t…I don’t really know what my future holds right now.” He rubbed the back of his neck and let out a gruff laugh. “Hell, I don’t even want to climb onto the back of a bull ever again.”
That made me sit up in surprise. “You love bull riding, Dirk.”
His eyes looked even sadder than they had a few moments ago. “Right now, my only concerns are my mother and the ranch. I need to be here for her. Focus on her and only her.”
I slowly shook my head. That was a clear-enough message. “Are you saying you’re walking away from the PBR?”
He cleared his throat once more. “For now. Just until I can get things settled at home with her and the ranch, then I’ll probably start up again. But I’m taking the rest of this year off. I spoke with my sponsors this morning, and they understood I needed the time.”
I jerked my head back slightly, shocked from his little bombshell. “I-I don’t know what to say.”
He shrugged. “Nothing to say. I did want to apologize for the other day. I was just upset.”
“You don’t have anything to apologize for. It’s not like I was under the illusion we had something going on.”
Dirk nodded and added, “No, no, we don’t have anything going on.”
His words of agreement made me flinch, and I was hit with the urge to throw up. He looked at me like he noticed my reaction, and I glanced down at my hands now in my lap. I wasn’t sure what I had expected. Him to confess his undying love for me? Maybe to tell me he needed me to help him get through all of this. He might have needed me in the hospital, but clearly he didn’t now.