Starstruck Read Online Paige Laurens

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Romance, Young Adult Tags Authors: Paige Laurens Advertisement1

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Of course I do because I can't help but stare at him, deeply.

"That's not what I was doing." He shakes his head as I wait. What was he doing then?

"I was... nevermind."

God he's going to make me spell it out.

"That's just it - what are we doing?" I sigh. "Really. I mean, Asher, you can have anyone, yet you're all maybe into me, and also kind of depressed about it. It was better when-"

"Yeah," he whispers.

I'm somehow more confused than I was before.

Asher stares with a sense of despair and wonderment I don’t understand.

"It's a bit confounding," he continues. "That you've never seen me unaffected. And the way I am - it's all your doing."

I focus on his face, still trying to understand.

"You have the opposite effect on me than literally anyone and everyone else," he lets out a sad laugh. "You haven’t seen the monster."

"So you’re saying I still don’t know the real you?"

"I am who I want to be with you, but how long can I hold onto that?"

"Because you say we can’t be together?"

"Elle," he sighs. "I was close to going off the rails again. That's why I came to New York. I'm not used to the same person driving me insane being the only one I want to see. I've tried to be with others. Three. At the same time. Yet I couldn't get a fucking measly kiss with you out of my head. I've never just left. Straight up walked out. I've never had anyone like you in my life. You’re like a high. Better than any drug, and trust me I’ve done a lot of them."

I swallow hard, replaying his words. Processing them.

Measly kiss.

"Stay with me tonight," he implores. "I'll sleep on the couch. That's what a friend would do right?"

Jesus with that fucking word!

I roll my eyes and continue down the steps, hearing him follow. I pass the boat pond. Then feel his hand tug me back. I land on a bench. He slides next to me. "So?" he wonders and waits. "I feel like I just told you a lot and you've said nothing."

It's because it gave me no clarity. If he likes me then why can't we see where this goes?

Then it hits me.

Measly kiss.

"Is it because I’m not a good kisser?" Part of me instantly regrets the words. The other part wants to know.

"Really?" He makes a face. "That's what you took away from what I said? Not to mention blew it out of context." He sees I'm not kidding. "Elle, even the thought of kissing you makes my dick hard."

"Asher," I roll my eyes.

"Do my words embarrass you or something?"

I don’t respond.

"I’d fly across the country to kiss you again - oh wait. I did."

I let out a deep sigh. "I haven’t kissed many," I confess. "My first wasn't until I was eighteen. I was determined to leave high school with a first kiss under my belt. I built it up so much. It wasn't even with someone I was into. I just wanted to get it done, and it ended up being... lackluster. I've kissed four others since, but-"

"You’re doing that thing where you worry for no reason.

"Travis was the only person I've had sex with," I blurt.

He raises an eyebrow.

"It wasn’t enjoyable," I swallow, my voice low. "Yet I kiss you and it’s better than anything I’ve ever done with him, which is making me really think about a lot of stuff."

Truth is after measly kissing Asher something tells me that having sex with him isn’t something I'd easily get over. He has the potential to ruin me forever.

I'm scared.

"I'm not asking you to stay tonight to fuck you, if that's what you're worried about."

I open my mouth to respond, but he doesn't let me.

"And not because I don't want to." He could see where my mind was going. He bites his lip and pauses. "I think you’re more real than anyone else because anyone else would have happily fucked me by now. And I get it. You’re cautious of your feelings because you have them."

I immediately give him a stern look.

"Oh come on, Elle, at this point are you really going to pretend you don’t have feelings for me?"

"So if I stay," I change the subject. "You're really going to sleep on the couch?"

He hesitates. We both saw it. "You hesitated!" I call him out.

"Fine," he laughs, leaning in. "Not a chance."

"Then no," I shrug. "I'm not the one night stand type."

"This isn't a one night stand type of thing," he stands. "But I'll be good, promise."

When we return to Asher's hotel, fans and photographers are waiting outside. A few even lurk near the back entrance. Tiny and Asher use the secret entrance near the flower shop he took me in earlier, after slipping me a spare room key.


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