Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77490 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 310(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77490 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 310(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
How I want her now and forever.
Eventually we end up in our usual positions, sitting on the floor, our backs against the couch, watching tv. Unlike all of the other evenings we’ve spent like this, now I hold her close and kiss her from time to time as we snuggle under a soft blanket and share popcorn.
After wanting Ava for so long, I’m relieved that she finally looks at me as more than a friend. I know we’re good together, but in the back of my mind, a thought nags at me. What if she decides she fits better with Brax or Gray?
AVA
The next day is a busy one, and I’m both frustrated and relieved to have things that keep my mind preoccupied. If I didn’t have three classes to teach at work, I’d be replaying last night in my head on a loop.
A new threshold has been crossed. A slippery slope, one that leaves me wondering how far I’ll go, and how soon? Part of me wants to run toward every new experience with open arms; another part of me wonders whether things are going too fast, especially when there’s more than one man involved.
Maybe it’s time for another talk with Lexy and Ember, though I’m not sure when we’d all be able to get together.
After work, I volunteer at the soup kitchen. My mom’s there this time, but she’s not herself. She seems happy one moment, smiling at nothing at all, and worried the next.
I wonder if I’m projecting my own state of mind onto her; I have certainly been distracted and sometimes worried lately. But I don’t think I’m imagining it. I also don’t think she’ll tell me if I ask—if it was something she wanted me to know, she would have told me already—so I decide to keep an eye on her and see if I can figure out what’s going on.
Maybe it’s something medical, and she’s smiling to try to disguise her concerns. Now I’m worried.
“Mom, you’re not sick or anything, are you?”
She looks over at me. “What? No. Why do you ask?”
“You just seem different.”
Her head ducks, like she’s hiding. But what she says is, “I have some things on my mind. But it’s nothing you need to be concerned about.”
I know that’s all I’ll get out of her, so I let it drop.
The evening passes quickly. Josephine and I agree to meet up for a movie night sometime soon, and then I’m home. The peace and quiet of my apartment is relaxing … but lonely.
If Erik were here, I could be relaxed but not lonely.
Or could I?
Yes, on a deep level I feel relaxed with all three of the men I’m dating, in the sense that I don’t need to be on my guard around them. But they don’t exactly make me feel relaxed in my interactions with them. Not when there are so many exciting new discoveries to make, and my nervous system seems to tune itself into high gear whenever one of them is with me.
Still, I’d rather be with them and worked up than relaxed and lonely.
I pull up my calendar app and check the dates, laughing to myself that I actually need a calendar to keep track. My next date is tomorrow, with Gray. I’ll wear the new outfit he sent.
Maybe I should text him and ask him if we can go out tonight instead. It’s late, but I don’t care. Staying out late is another one of those adolescent rites of passage I never got to experience.
My heart beats faster as I text him. “What are you doing?”
The answer comes quickly, but not immediately. “Thinking about you.”
Of course he is, since I just texted him. Smiling, I write back, “Are you at work?”
“For another hour.”
“Want to go out after that?”
This time, there’s no delay. “Pick you up in an hour and five minutes.”
Grinning, I dash into my bedroom to start getting ready.
GRAY
When Ava exits the elevator into the lobby where I’m waiting, my heart hitches in my chest. I thought that was a cliché.
This woman keeps surprising me.
She’s wearing the outfit I sent her, and she’s stunning. The dress hugs her curves even better than I’d imagined. When she comes up to me, smiling, I pull her into my arms and kiss her.
It’s a deep, hungry kiss that lasts a good long while, but she doesn’t pull back even a little. When I lift my head, she looks at me with deep, dreamy eyes and says, “Thank you for the outfit. I love it.”
“Come on,” I say. “Let’s get out of here.” Because if we stand here another minute, I absolutely will take her back upstairs, and I’m determined to wait until she tells me she’s ready. It’s absolute agony, but she’s worth it.
While I was kissing her, some corner of my brain noted that she was wearing the perfume I sent. It was a guess which one to get her, but it smells exquisite on her, and I inhale the scent as I hand her into my car.