Shame Me Not Read Online Fiona Cole

Categories Genre: Angst, BDSM, College, Erotic, New Adult, Romance, Young Adult Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 115263 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 576(@200wpm)___ 461(@250wpm)___ 384(@300wpm)
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Chapter Thirty-Six

Ana

Kevin drove me home once visiting hours were over because I’d been with my roommate, Jessica, at the library when I got the call. We’d carpooled that morning, so she offered to take me rather than waste time getting my car.

My body sagged against the seat, drained from the bursts of emotions: fear, relief, doubt, more relief, and more fear. They weighed heavy in my muscles, making them fatigued despite not having worked them. Staring out the window, I watched the stars in the sky, feeling as though I could float away if not for my link with Kevin. We’d gotten in the car and he’d immediately linked his pinky with mine, anchoring me. Always there to hold me in place. I knew I could’ve handled today on my own, but I was glad I didn’t have to. My best friend—always there when I needed him.

When we pulled up to my apartment and parked, I saw Andrew sitting on my stoop, a bouquet of flowers lying on the pavement next to him.

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit.”

“What’s wrong?” Kevin asked.

“I completely forgot about my date with Andrew tonight. Shit.”

Even from the corner of my eye, I saw Kevin’s face pinch and his pinky flinched in mine. “Do you need me to stay?”

I took a deep breath. I needed him to leave so I could face my mistake. “No.” I turned to him because I wanted him to see how grateful I was for his help and squeezed his pinky. “Thank you for everything today, Kevin. I’d have fallen apart without you.”

He laughed. “No, you wouldn’t have. You’re a strong woman, Anabelle. You would’ve been fine without me, but I’m glad I was there so you didn’t have to be strong alone.”

Forcing a smile, I climbed out of the car and walked toward Andrew. Thankfully, Kevin didn’t linger and drove away. As I approached Andrew, I took in his pinched lips and clenched fists. I didn’t blame him for being mad. Especially since I’d shown up with Kevin. It had to be a blow to his ego. Rather than explaining on my stoop, I told him to come in.

“I was worried about you. You didn’t pick up when I called and your car was outside, so I decided to wait for you,” he said in a hardened voice as soon as we walked through the door.

“I’m so sorry, Andrew.” I dropped my jacket on the back of the couch before turning to look at him. “My mom fell earlier today and had to be taken to the hospital. I was at the library and got a ride to the hospital. That’s why my car was still here.”

“Ana.” His tone softened and he started to walk toward me. “I’m sorry.” Just as he was about to reach me, he came to a halt and cocked his head to the side as though just now putting together the pieces of me being at the library to showing up tonight in Kevin’s car. “Was Kevin with you when you found out?”

This wasn’t going to go over well. One question would lead to another and eventually he would figure out how Kevin ended up with me instead of him. Taking in his furrowed brow, I knew he wasn’t going to like the answers to his questions. With my heart sinking into my stomach, I answered. “No.”

“Was he with your mom? I know your families are friends. Was he around her when she fell?”

Cheating. I felt like a cheater. I could hear in his voice that he hoped he was wrong. And I was about to ruin the hope. I couldn’t answer, so I shook my head.

“Then how was he there with you?” Andrew asked.

The answer was unnecessary. He just wanted me to say it. He knew I’d called Kevin instead of him and the hurt in his voice was like a slap to the face. “I called him.”

My eyes dropped to the floor in front of his feet because I was a coward. The longer the silence stretched, the tighter my chest constricted. Finally, he whispered, “Did you even think to call me?”

“I’m so sorry, Andrew,” I repeated. “He’s my best friend and I acted on instinct.”

He moved toward the door, and I was sure he was going to leave. It was what I deserved. I’d hurt him and didn’t blame him for walking away. Despite being for the best, thinking of him leaving and never returning still hurt. I liked Andrew.

But then he came back, closer than before and leaned into me. “Anabelle, I really like you and you know I’m ready.” He lifted my chin until I looked him in the eyes. “Let me take care of you,” he pleaded, dropping a kiss to my lips. “I’m ready to make this exclusive.”

His words ricocheted through me and kicked at my heart. He offered to take care of me, but he had no idea what that entailed. I was a fool to continue stringing him along in the hopes he would continue to wait until I was ready to focus solely on him. I had my mom to take care of. I wasn’t ready to give him my all.


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