Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 112755 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112755 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Melanie’s eyes watered and her mouth dropped open.
“What? … When?! When did this happen?”
“Started when I was six or seven, went on ’til I was ’bout eleven. It only stopped ’cause I pulled a knife on him, and I was getting stronger. Able to fight back. He had a couple of friends who liked to join in on the fun. Sometimes it would go on for hours. I told Mama about it. She told me that I was lyin’.” He punctuated that with a long swig of coffee, which had now cooled. “She then accused me of tryna run her man off, and said I was bad. Insisted I just wanted to come between them.”
He snorted. “I was always curious where she thought a 6-year-old would’ve known about the stuff I told her he did to me? Kids that age don’t know what sex is—at least, back in our day we didn’t. So, uh, Mel, you’ll have to excuse me if I honestly don’t give a shit about makin’ amends wit’ Mama. She can’t even admit she messed up. Handled it wrong. Fuck her feelings. I’m done. I wish her well, but I don’t want shit else to do wit’ her. No cap.”
He glanced at his sister as he continued to eat, and though he tried not to feel anything, to turn his emotions off as he’d done most of his life, his chest ached with pain as he noticed the quiet tears pooling in her eyes, then streaming down her cheeks. He snatched an extra napkin and casually handed it to her.
“Stop cryin’. Don’t feel sorry for me.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me about this? We’ve always been close! You’re one of my best friends.”
“…’Cause I was ashamed. I wasn’t looking at the situation the way I do now. I’m the big brother. I didn’t want you to think less of me. Another reason is that at the time it was happenin’, I didn’t wanna be taken out of the house by child protective services, ’cause you would then be there by yourself. Alone with them. They made sure to remind me of that more than once.”
Melanie kept crying and he kept eating, not really feeling much at all. He handed her another napkin, leaned back, and finished his coffee. After a few minutes, he’d had enough.
“Stop all that cryin’, girl.”
She sniffed and looked away. A couple of minutes passed, and Melanie loudly blew her nose. Her face was all splotchy and red, her eyes pink and watery.
“I can’t believe Mama did that… just dismissed it!”
“Yeah, you can. You can believe it. This ain’t the land of make-believe. Anything that disrupts her pleasure or fun, she’s historically ignored.” He started into his hashbrowns, wishing they had more onion, but they were pretty good overall.
Melanie crossed her arms and shook her head.
“I’m done!” Her voice shook as she waved her hand about. “I have tried with that woman! I can’t talk to her right now. I’ll cuss her out, Legend.”
“Nah, don’t stop talkin’ to her on account of me. You go on and have the relationship you’re supposed to have with her. I’m not trying to come between y’all. I’m just letting you know that it’s a wrap for me. I ain’t got no mama as far as I’m concerned. Besides, that shit was a long time ago.”
“That’s not the point, and you know it. If it was, you wouldn’t still be mad at her about it.”
“You’ve got a point, but my issues with Mama aren’t just about that situation. A lot of parents don’t believe their kids when they tell ’em someone is touching them. I ’magine even half-decent parents have done that on occasion, and lived to regret it. Maybe because the kid lied a lot in general. I don’t know.” He shrugged. “But I do know that every time I needed her for somethin’ crucial, even as an adult, she wasn’t there for me. If I had some money, she wanted some for herself. She didn’t care how I was getting the money unless I got caught. All of a sudden she was my lovin’ Mama when I had a bag. If I couldn’t do anything for her ’cause I was locked up, and needed her for a change, she wasn’t nowhere to be found.
“The only people who tried to be down for me were you, Axel, and Caspian. Y’all would call, send shit. Visit. Write letters. Mama ain’t do nothin’ but complain to me about what bills wasn’t paid, what her latest boyfriend did, or some dumb shit that happened at her job. She’d ask how I was doing at the start of each conversation, but she didn’t really care.” He huffed. “If she had been down for me even after what that son of a bitch did to me, and came to me as a woman and my mother, telling me, ‘Look, I messed up. I should’ve believed you, but I’m there for you now,’ I would’ve been less hard on her. The reason I’m bringing this up to you now, Melanie, is because… because I made a promise to Ms. Florence a long time ago, on her deathbed.”