Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 115860 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115860 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
“And days filled with endless possibilities. Westin’s death wasn’t your fault. Or Mum’s.”
I look at him with burning eyes. “You’re wrong. Westin should never have died. I should have taken him elsewhere to play. I shouldn’t have used magic I barely knew. Then Mum’s spell—”
“In both the human and magical world, accidents happen.”
“Magic killed him. It took Anka from you, too, through no fault of your own.”
Peering down into the bottle, Lucan hesitates. “No, I’m to blame.”
“Don’t take on Mathias’s guilt. You couldn’t be with Anka all day, every day. You did your best to protect—”
“My best wasn’t enough. Mathias took her and I did nothing to save her.”
“Damn magic threw you into mate mourning. If not for that—”
“I still would have been out of my mind with worry. The truth is, I failed to consider that Mathias might target her when I joined the Doomsday Brethren. Now I’m reaping what I’ve sown.”
I want to reassure Lucan that he couldn’t have known, but the first rule of combat is to expect the unexpected.
“I haven’t a clue what will happen,” Lucan goes on. “I don’t want to give up on Anka, and the fact that she hasn’t accepted Shock’s Call gives me hope. But not only didn’t I protect her when I should have, I nearly killed her today. Why the bloody hell would she ever forgive me?”
Lucan still loves her, and I’m profoundly sad for him.
He scrubs at his face with a tired hand. “Who gave me energy while I was out of my mind?”
“We hired surrogates. Do you recall?”
“I vaguely remember women who smelled terrible. I remember the overwhelming fury. I saw nothing and heard very little. But smell guided me. Then I remember a woman who smelled much like Anka…at first. But the last time she came to me, I swore I scented Sabelle.” Lucan winces. “Tell me I didn’t use my best friend’s sister.”
“I’m sorry.” I can only apologize. Lying would do no good.
Lucan curses. “I owe her an apology for my rough behavior. And a great deal of gratitude. She’s an amazing woman.”
I can’t argue that. “Indeed.”
A long silence follows, and I reach for my own bottle, swallowing the sting of the alcohol and letting it burn a path from my throat to my stomach.
“Let’s talk of something more pleasant,” Lucan suggests. “Tell me about the saucy redhead who left with the others.”
I tense. “Sydney Blair. She’s a paranormal reporter for a human tabloid.”
“She has feelings for you.”
Damn, Lucan has always been perceptive. I nod.
“You have feelings for her, as well. You’ve adopted a bit of her color in your signature. You haven’t spoken the Call, but she’s your mate.”
Too perceptive. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Would she refuse you?”
“Can we change the subject?”
“Talking about your problems gets my mind off my own.” Lucan grabs the whiskey and takes another swig with a lopsided grin. He’s had enough alcohol to numb his pain, and he has enough mischief to exploit my situation. Sod. “Would she say no?”
“She’d accept.”
“You haven’t mated with her because you want a witch?”
I snort. “You know I don’t.”
“Ah, you don’t love her, then.”
“I do.”
Lucan strokes his chin as if perplexed. “Is it because she’s against magic?”
“Quite the opposite. She persuaded Bram to allow her to transcast news of Mathias’s return.”
“The Council agreed?” Lucan looks genuinely shocked.
“No. Bram finally conceded that distributing the information without their blessing was best.”
“There will be hell to pay. Good for him, doing the right thing. Sydney wants to help, then? That’s why she’s transcasting, despite the danger?”
“Yes.” I sigh, knowing where Lucan’s line of questioning is headed. Might as well beat him to the destination. “And that is precisely why I haven’t spoken the Call. The more she involves herself in magickind, the higher up Mathias moves her name on his hit list.”
“You don’t want to lose her the way you lost Westin. Or the way I lost Anka.”
Either would devastate me. “Something like that.”
Lucan slams his bottle down and lunges in my face, bracing his fists against the back of the sofa, effectively pinning me in place. “You stupid sodding fuck! You have a woman who loves you and would instantly accept your Call. Yet you’re willing to flush your chance at happiness down the toilet to avoid possible pain.” He scoffs and backs away. “You have no idea—”
“I do!” I shove Lucan aside and jump to my feet, anger roiling through my body. “You weren’t there when Westin died. I was!”
“It was an accident.”
He’s wrong. “That doesn’t make him any less dead. And then you… I saw you chained to a bed for weeks. I watched you with Sabelle.” Lucan winces, but I press on. “You nearly killed her for trying to save you. For as long as Anka stays in Shock’s bed, there will be an infinite hole in your heart. Why the hell would I sign up for that?”