Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 79197 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79197 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
“Well, hell…news travels fast, don’t it?” I said with a chuckle.
He shrugged. “You know how it is. It may not seem like it, but Estes Park is still small.”
Nodding, I replied, “Yeah. Nothing happened. Nothing ever will.”
“Why’s that?”
I laughed. “Come on, Dalt. You know why! She’s my daughter’s nanny. And I can’t let anyone in…” My voice trailed off.
“Listen, if you don't feel that way toward Emma, then fine. But don’t lead her on, because she isn’t some hook-up that you’re gonna be able to walk away from in the morning.”
I turned and shot him a glare. “You don’t think I know that?”
“Do you? Then finish what you were going to say. You can’t let anyone in again?”
“I can’t do that to Lisa again, okay! I can’t cheat on her.”
Dalton jerked back like he’d been slapped. “Cheat on her? What are you even talking about? And what do you mean again?”
Lifting my hands, I shoved my fingers through my hair and groaned. “I’m not talking about it here.”
“Fine. Then let’s go.”
“Is Hadley asleep? I don’t want her to see me like this.”
“I’m taking you home.”
“Home?”
“Yeah, Aiden. Home.”
We were no sooner in his truck and driving down the road when he started assaulting me with questions. Who was it with? When did it happen? Did Lisa know?
“Stop!” I shouted, the blurry scenery out the passenger window making me ill. “My head is pounding and you’re making it worse.”
“You just dropped a damn bomb on me back there. Dude, I never would have taken you for a cheat.”
“She wasn’t alive. It was right after she died, and I was so lost. I got drunk and woke up with Nancy in my bed.”
Dalton immediately pulled over and put his truck in park, then dropped his head against the seat.
“I don't remember anything that happened,” I said, barely above a whisper.
“Then are you sure it happened at all?” he asked. “Everyone knows how much she was trying to get with you, even when Lisa was still alive.”
“Yeah, I'm sure. I found a condom on the floor and it had been—”
He put up his hand. “I get it.”
“I felt so damn guilty. I woke her up, told her to get out, then I went and told Roger. He was angry, but he said he knew his wife had been up to something. Never thought I’d give in, but I told him I’d been blind drunk and didn’t even remember anything.”
“Is that why you were so distant all those months?”
I nodded. “She wasn’t even dead a week, and I slept with someone else.”
“You talk to the pastor about it?”
“Yeah. He told me I did nothing wrong. I mean, Lisa and I had been separated, about to be divorced. She’d basically moved on with someone else. She only moved back home because she got cancer. Then I went off and slept with her best friend.”
“What does all of this have to do with Emma?”
“Tonight, when we were dancing…I wanted her more than I’ve ever wanted another woman. Including Lisa.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that, Aiden. So you’ve developed feelings for her. Why is that so bad?”
I shook my head. “No, you don’t understand. You don’t get it, Dalton. I feel something for her that I have never felt before. Not even with Lisa. The thought of letting her into my heart, and then her leaving?” I shook my head. “I don't think I would survive.”
“If Emma left? Dude, why are you even thinking like that?”
“Because it’s more than just me! I have to think about Hadley. If anything went wrong, she’d leave, and Hadley would lose another person she loves.”
I closed my eyes and exhaled. “Everyone thought I was so distraught about Lisa dying, and I was. I was upset that Hadley had lost her mother. I was scared to parent on my own, worried what life would be like for my daughter. When Lisa told me she just wanted to die, that she didn’t want to do the treatments anymore, I was so mad at her. Furious at her for wanting to leave Hadley again, after she’d already left us once and moved out. For not loving her enough to stay and fight for her daughter. For her own life!”
He nodded. “I never knew she wanted to stop treatments. That had to be so hard for you, Aiden. And no one would ever blame you for being scared. I couldn’t imagine doing all this without Tammy. Not in a million years.”
I sighed. “Emma is so different. I can’t put it into words, but she’s…resilient. And she makes me feel happy every damn day. The kind of happy I never felt with Lisa.”
“And that’s bad?”
“Yes and no. It feels really good to be happy again. To let some of that grief go. It’s been good for Hadley too. But when I look at Emma, when I think of all the things I want to do with her, the guilt just grows. I’m too afraid.”