Total pages in book: 149
Estimated words: 138217 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 691(@200wpm)___ 553(@250wpm)___ 461(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 138217 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 691(@200wpm)___ 553(@250wpm)___ 461(@300wpm)
“The load on you if—”
“I’m bonded to Valya and every other second in the den, as well as to Nova. That’s how a clan works. As a combined unit.” Rough passion in every word. “If it works as I’m hoping, if my mind acts like a release valve on yours, then the load will spread, won’t even be noticed.”
Theo could barely comprehend the enormity of that possibility.
And it hit her, really hit her for the first time. “We’re mated,” she whispered, curling around his bearish presence inside her. “We’re mated.” To have the right to call him her own? The wonder of it stole her breath. “I don’t remember it happening.”
His scowl was heavy. “Me neither and I’m gonna sulk about it. Pasha tells me it’s a fucking transcendental experience. I just felt you reach for me and I reached for you in return and I guess my bear took care of the rest.”
Laughing wetly, she kissed the dimples she so loved. “I bet our bond is more transcendental than theirs,” she said, knowing how to play with her bear now. “Plus we made it in a very dramatic fashion. That counts.”
“Damn straight.” He squeezed the back of her neck. “Now, get back in bed, before Nova finds you attempting an escape.”
“I love you.” So very easy to say that now she’d accepted that she’d never chosen evil. She didn’t have to punish herself by living a life devoid of love and hope. The guilt for what she’d done while in her grandfather’s control . . . that would be with her for life, but she wasn’t sure that was a bad thing. It meant she was a being of heart, of empathy.
A grin from her bear. “I know.” Dimples flashing again, he pretended to nip at her lower lip while avoiding the lightly bruised area. “I—”
Irises turning a primal yellow-hued amber at the same instant that he sucked in a breath of air. She’d have worried except that his lips were curved and when he returned from wherever he’d gone he said, “You know what I just saw, Theo?” Joy that bled into her cells.
“I saw you playing with a naked wild child in the long grass of a summer meadow. He was giggling and laughing and he turned into a ball of brown fur mid-roll through the grass. He’s ours, Theo. Our boy. I don’t know when, but I know one day you’ll play with our son in a summer meadow drenched in sunshine.”
The sheer wonder of his vision had her sobbing and then she was tugging him onto the bed so she could crawl into his lap, just hold him as he held her, hope a living song between them.
1988
My dear Hien,
I’ve done as you’ve asked all these years. I’ve never reached out to you no matter how much it hurts. The only thing that gives me comfort is that I know Mom and Dad and the boys are a presence in your life. I’ve never blamed our parents for cutting off contact with me to better embrace Silence so they can assist our brothers with the transition and support you in your journey with Neiza. I hope you know that, that you understand your big brother wants only the best for you and your child.
But to stop talking to you altogether? I couldn’t do that. So I kept this journal, and I wrote all these letters that’ll never be sent. My Mimi, she says that one day, our descendants will meet again, and that these letters will act as an archive of memories that’ll bring them together. She has so much hope in her, my mate, and her courage and heart buoy mine.
Today, I write because I have news to share with you.
I have a daughter, Hien. She’s so tiny and so astonishing and I cried when I first held her. We’ve named her Quyen Eugenia Nguyen. Such a grand name for a wee thing, but she’ll grow into her name, our precious Quyen.
She looks a little like you. I wish you could see her, wish you could hold her, too. I know you would have been an adoring aunt, and that you’d have teased me for taking my time to have a cub. Mimi and I thought it would never happen, and we were content to love the children of the clan. Now we’re half in shock and stunned in delight.
My mate has never begrudged me my love for you all. She is generous of heart, is my bear, has unbreakable bonds of her own with her siblings. To her, it’s nothing extraordinary that a brother should care for his siblings. But her bonds make her smile, give her joy, while mine causes me only sorrow. And I won’t have my child growing up in the shadow of my pain.