Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 88119 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88119 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
“And you had no right to monitor me like a criminal and keep the truth about my family from me,” I said. “You lied to me, and you betrayed me. What am I to you? Some kind of marionette you can use as you please? And what’s Alec, your puppeteer?” I wanted to smash his office, destroy his too-clean desk and his stupid model soldiers. I wanted to tear him and Alec to shreds like they had done with my heart and my trust.
Major’s lips thinned to a white line on his tanned face. “I won’t tolerate that tone from you, Tessa. The FEA and I have been very good to you. We gave you a home, a purpose, and a chance at a normal life.”
I didn’t think Major had ever sounded so cold when he’d spoken with me. A few times, especially at the beginning of my life at headquarters, I’d even wished he were my dad.
“Normal?” I repeated in a whisper. There was nothing normal about me or my life, and certainly not about Major and his surveillance.
“As normal as someone like you could ever hope for. Where do you think you’d be now if the FEA hadn’t taken you in and taught you about your Variation?”
I’d asked myself that question so often and always come to the conclusion that I’d have been lost without them, but now after seeing the photos of my father and brother, I felt like there might have been more out there for me.
Major continued, “I don’t think you’re aware of the dangers your previous way of life entailed. You were without protection and if Abel had ever found you, that would have been it. Because no matter how much you despise me and my methods in this moment, they are nothing in comparison to what Abel’s capable of, if he suspected that one of his soldiers was setting a toe out of line.”
Maybe he was right. Maybe getting in the hands of Abel would have been ten times worse, but that didn’t mean I had to like how he and the FEA had treated me, how he’d used Alec against me. That didn’t make their actions right. Major shook his head.
“You leave me no choice,” he said sadly. My stomach tightened. “You’ve been acting erratic and irresponsible over the last few days. I think your emotions are spiraling out of control. I realize that you’ve gone through a lot and that I’ve asked a lot from you, but that doesn’t excuse what you did today.”
“What do you mean?” I whispered.
“I think you need a few weeks to consider your actions and to recover from the trauma you sustained during your first mission and again when you lost Holly. We have a state-of-the-art facility that treats our agents when they suffer from PTSD, depression or other emotional deficiencies. I’ll call them this morning and ask them to take care of you for a few weeks.”
“You’re going to lock me in a psych ward?”
Major sighed. “This facility isn’t a prison. It’s not a punishment. I just want to be sure your emotional instability is treated before it spins out of control. You’re a capable agent, Tessa, and I’d hate to lose you. In a few weeks, when you come out on the other side of this, you’ll see that it was for the best.”
I was unable to speak. Major was going to lock me away and let FEA’s psychiatrists mess with my mind. I didn’t trust them and Major to stick to the usual therapy methods of regular shrinks. They’d do something to my brain until I wasn’t so insubordinate anymore, until I was an obedient little agent.
I knew I had to tread carefully now. There was no way in hell that I’d let anyone take me to FEA’s loony bin. I hung my head with a sigh, so Major couldn’t see my face, and tried to suppress my tremor of panic. “You really think they can help me? I don’t want to turn into my mother or become a murderer like my dad.” I shuddered for effect.
Major touched my shoulder and I fought the urge to push him away. If I’d had a knife, I wasn’t sure what I would have done. Maybe thrust it into his heart and asked, “How does it feel?”
“Your mother could have been a great agent, too, but she didn’t want to accept my help. She thought she wasn’t at risk. I won’t make the same mistake with you.”
I nodded, my mind racing to find a way out of this. “I wish it could have been different. Why do my parents have to be so messed up?”
Major squeezed my shoulder reassuringly, as if I would ever let him console me again after what I’d found out today. “We can’t help who our parents are. We can only aspire to be better.”