Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 88119 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88119 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
I pulled file after file from my drawer until I got to the one with the tag I’d been looking for. For a few seconds, I stared at the ceiling, my heart pounding, scared of what I knew I’d find. It would change everything. Slowly I lowered my gaze to the file.
Two names were written right below the description of the mission. The two agents who’d been responsible for the surveillance—my surveillance.
Kate and Alec.
I’m not sure how long I stood there staring at the page in disbelief. It was probably seconds, but it felt like hours. I hadn’t yet moved when Major walked in. I wasn’t sure how long we stood like that—I still, posing as him—staring at each other. The file was still in my hand. My palm was sweaty. He wasn’t wearing pajamas and he didn’t seem the least bit tired. Maybe he slept in his uniform, or maybe he didn’t need to sleep at all.
There was a stillness to his face that should have scared me, warned me of the fury that was simmering beneath his controlled mask. But I felt hollow. Deep down I could feel a fire burning, an anger more intense than anything I’d ever felt before, and I wanted to grasp it and harness it and unleash it on the man in front of me; to show him what this betrayal had done to me. FEA had been my family, a home after all the years of despair and negligence, and now that was gone. Ripped from my hands by what I’d just read. The FEA had taken me in because of my worth to them, but they’d never trusted me and had never fully treated me like I was worthy. My life here had been a lie.
And Alec. My heart, my entire body ached so much when I thought about him and the time we’d shared. Tears stung in my eyes but I didn’t let them fall. Had Major told him to start a relationship with me to guarantee the success of their spying? Had Kate only told me Alec’s secret to test me? How could I know if he’d meant a single word he’d said? Had everything been lies? The touches, the kisses, the tender looks? I had been so stupid to think he loved me, to think he was on my side, that he’d help me. He was Major’s soldier through and through—had always been.
The knife of his betrayal was wedged deep in my soul. He and Kate must have had a wonderful time spying on me. That’s why he’d never talked about the mission they’d shared. Because the mission was me and my presumed instability. The ticking time bomb known as Tessa. Kate’s triumphant looks made even more sense now. Shame washed over me, determined to banish my other emotions, but I clung to my anger. Anger was all that would get me through this. It was all I had left.
“Come with me,” Major said tersely.
I put the file down slowly and followed him to the elevator. I wasn’t sure how my body managed to go through the motions when I was pretty sure I was falling apart inside. With every step, another part of my carefully constructed happiness crumbled away and was crushed under Major’s perfectly polished boots.
I couldn’t help but wonder how often Alec and Kate had discussed my feelings behind my back. They must have had many good laughs about my stupid infatuation. In the elevator and on our way to Major’s office, neither of us spoke. Arriving there, I sank down on the edge of the hard chair. My fingers curled around my knees, nails digging into the skin. I let the familiar rippling wash over me until I was back to myself again, no longer posing as Major. The uniform hung loosely on my body.
Major positioned himself in front of his desk. I had to crane my neck to get a good look at his face. I could see that he was fighting for self-control. His jaw twitched and a vein in his throat throbbed furiously.
“You had no right to be in there. This is a serious breach of the rules. I hope you are aware of that.”
If he said something about trust and gave me some line about how the FEA was built on it, I’d go off on him like the time bomb that he thought I was. Only a few days ago he’d said he’d never violate my privacy by using Kate. But what was this? He knew how much I cared about Alec, how much I trusted him, and yet he’d used him against me. Or maybe that had been his plan from the very start. Maybe when Alec had consoled me more than three years ago after the devastating call with my mother, he’d been acting on Major’s orders. I realized Major was still watching me and probably expecting a reply. I reached for the fury deep within, used it to make my words come out hard and accusing.